The Rant Book of a Teenage Drama Queen

Depression

I consider myself emo for the things I have done and the thoughts that run through my head daily.Friends and family don't see it because I won't let them.I have a good mask.I was taught to act well at an early age.

I am that way for a reason..

I had a perfect life..

All family members around me all of the time.4.0 grade point average through every grade I had completed.I was 3 years ahead of the average kid in school.I had no scars physically or emotionally.I was home schooled..

Until my closest family member got cancer..My grandma.

When it happened,I was only eleven years old..It happened on December 21,2009.I didn't get to have Christmas with her that year..

She got Acute Leukemia;a rare cancer mostly seen in children.Her chance of survival in the first year was less than 25%.Once she started treatment,my mom decided to go to school to become a medical technologist to help cure this monster that changed our lives..

I had to leave home and go to public school..

Worst thing EVER!

I was a 12 year old 8th grader..Everyone else was so advanced.

I had almost no one before I went to public school(Except for @paijeypoo :3),so I was(and still am)socially awkward.I had trouble even speaking to people.I was a little fish thrown into a pond..

I eventually met some cool people.Had friends.But I got bullied..By my Freshman year,I had given myself many scars..

I hated myself for not being as good as everyone else and I believed every mean word they said to me..

No one knew how I felt because I hid it away..I felt alone an hated sometimes when I wasn't.

I'd dream about school and those people every night.I cried myself to sleep..

...I hated myself...

Than my Sophomore year came..

I didn't get treated as such a small weakling this year..I had false confidence.I acted confident and people left me alone.

Sometimes,the false part was gone and I really did feel amazing.

My confidence brought many good things.:)

People told me I was beautiful.(it really is true when they say 'the best thing for a girl to wear is confidence!')

I got picked out of a crowd more because I stood out

I was the funny class clown in one of my classes(Along with @poppysvex You know what I mean,girl!!!:D)

I made more friends because I was out of my shell

It isn't totally gone.My depression still lingers at times..But I feel MUCH better because I am more confident:3

Ladies,try it on!!(BUT DON'T YOU DARE GROW AN EGO!)

It feels great!This summer,I've worked even more on feeling better and I plan to be 100% less shy when school comes back up.I'll glow!!

Well that's it,Sweeties.Gotta go do important things(Hahahaha NOT :P)Catch ya later!!