❝The only kind of love I want is one where even if it is just for a short moment, it feels like I have lived a lifetime in that moment with that person. ❞ - Jhanvi Raichand.
**You CANNOT read this as standalone. Read Dare to Be before reading this...
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2.18 Past Is Present
My heart is thudding away at a crazy beat walking away from Aarav. Everything that was once just a thought for me, he said them. He confessed. He said the three words I never even in my wildest dreams expected to hear from him. I do not know how to come to terms with this reality. As much as I know it opens doors to all the possibilities I didn't allow myself to entertain all these years, I can't help myself from second guessing.
Is this really what I want?
As far as I've come to understand love, I'd held that feeling for Aarav. It feels as if it had somehow become my identity... the girl who was hopelessly in love with someone unattainable and unable to put that in the past and move on in life. My past has always been my present. But, no. That cannot be all there is to my identity. Someone associated to the Raizada's. Someone who just loved him. I reckon I will always continue to love him but I certainly do not have to let that be my only identity in life.
I am more than just that.
Inhaling sharply, convincing myself - perhaps falsely - that I am doing the right thing... doing the best thing for myself, I walk out of the door. Reaching the driveway, I start looking for Vikas.
Instead, I find that same guy who had been outside Jhanvi's hospital room. He who strangled me - okay, I am exaggerating, but he did put me on edge and say some very rude things about my character.
He asks, "Anything I can help you with?"
I clear my throat, telling myself I shouldn't judge him based on one encounter. "Where is Vikas?"
"He's out on an errand."
Well, then. I suppose it will have to wait for another time. "Oh, can you tell him to call me after? He has my number."
He nods, observing me closely. Something tells me I need to be wary of his keen eyes. Just as I nod back and proceed to walk around him, he speaks up. "Look, I know I am not Vikas and you have no reason to trust me. We haven't gotten off on the best foot, and..."
I interrupt to question, "Is there a point to this or are you just going to waste my time?"
I expect him to glare back or something but instead, he rolls his eyes taking my tone lightly. "I'm just saying, if I can do something for you, let me know."
I laugh, amused. "And what makes you think you would be useful to me?"
"You tell me," he cryptically answers.
I don't understand, but I continue to brush it off. "Alright, look, if I ever find myself in a situation where people are after my life, you would be the second one I call for my bodyguard with Vikas being the first but otherwise, I highly doubt you can help me with my issues."
