Pleasure | Alex x reader

Not an update

Hey guys, I wanted to tell you guys something and I hope you guys will understand what I'm going through. I've been hesitating whether or not to tell you guys, but I've just realized that it would be mean to not explain to you guys what had happened. These past few weeks were very hectic with all my exams schedule and stuff. I've never really gotten a chance to have a full, peaceful sleep. My body is weak compared to before, I get tired easily, I can't focus on one thing without getting disturb, I get annoyed easily, my mood swings has gotten worse, I rarely eat and I shut people out. My mom would ask me if I'm okay and I would always say I'm alright, but I don't think I am. The world around me doesn't seem beautiful and alive right now, it feels silent and blank. The people I used to connect with through social medias I had cut off ties with them, I don't even really get to talk to my irl friends, the food I used to enjoy doesn't even taste good anymore, hobbies I like don't even seem to interest me anymore. It just feels like I changed you know, I am not myself anymore. I lack self-confidence and plus, I don't trust myself enough to do things I want to do because I'm scared of being judged by society or my parents. Also, even in a situation where I should be happy I wouldn't even flash a smile, I'd just sit alone by myself in the corner of the room without talking to anyone. I feel like something is changing me, I was feeling alright but the next day I am not alright. To be honest with you guys s*icide has been circling my mind since last year, but I didn't take my own life yet since people tell me that they CARE and LOVE me, but here I am in a worst situation but none of those people are here for me rn. I feel sad and mad. I was supposed to be a happy teenage girl but shit happened. I'm so sorry you guys, but I'll probably take a break from writing the story to calm down myself. I'm sorry you guys, I hope you understand me. I'm also sorry for this emotional paragraph guys..I just have no where else to talk about this, I feel like I only have you guys😔 I love you babyluvs and don't ever forget that💘

* I'll be back soon tho. Don't worry ❤️