In The Sight of These Hills (Dolan Twins)

Smoke

Chapter 24: Smoke

"-deep in the forest you
shuffle up some tree, you rip the bark,

you float into and swallow the dripping combs,
bits of the tree, crushed bees - - - a taste
composed of everything lost, in which everything lost is found."

-Mary Oliver

It was Friday.

A couple of weeks ago Grayson was human, Ethan hadn't gotten the hell beat out of him, and Nate was alive. This was what Ethan was trying not to think about at the bathroom sink, standing there in the freezing cold, his breath like smoke. He looked at himself in the reflection of the mirror and then back down at the white of the sink, a blinding thing, it seemed.

Ethan was unbandaging his hand slowly. Each roll of the white stripped from him and fell into the sink. When he looked up at the mirror again, his brother was behind him.

"Hey," he said, and then took it off completely, eyes tracing over the stitches, and he ran his hand over the water, wincing at the slight throb against his palm.

"There's a half-eaten rabbit on the floor," Grayson stated, looking at him through the reflection of the mirror, his face a mix of confusion and apprehension. He knew he had done it, but he didn't remember it. In fact, he hadn't remembered anything after leaving. It was scaring him a bit, really, and his brother could tell by the slight tremble of his upper lip.

"Yeah," said Ethan, reaching over to grab a towel from the side, pressing it on with a wince.

"Did I hurt you?"

Ethan looked at him through the mirror as though to say I am still alive, aren't I?

"What did I look like?" He asked, picturing what had attacked him that night: massive, predatory. Ethan turned towards him and told him. He had a sickening feeling, though, that when the full moon came, maybe that's what he would end up looking like.

"What did I do?"

Ethan turned his eyes away and smiled for a split second, just a tug at the corner of his mouth. If his twin hadn't been watching, he would have missed it. He turned back again, to but the towel on the rack.

"Cuddled me," he said blatantly, and Grayson went slightly red.

"You're lying," he said, as Ethan moved passed him.

"Nope," he said, and got a pack down from above the closed toilet lid.

Grayson laughed, kind of really, really relived that he hadn't tried to eat him or anything, and Ethan got the first aid kit out and sat it on the counter.

"Will you?" He asked, pulling out the gauze.

"Yeah," he said, and Ethan sat at the edge of the bathtub, as Grayson leaned over, bandaging up his hand.

~

The air was crisp, and Ethan suggested that they walk another way to school. He didn't want to go by that house. Grayson didn't say a word.

When they got to school, there were a great deal of people outside in the food court area. That is where Ethan spotted Meredith as they walked up the sloped concrete path, looking at him through a group of people. He stilled, and she didn't move her eyes away from him.

Ethan stopped mid-way on the slant and Grayson stopped at well, looking over at him, thinking for a moment that the pain was getting to him again. He looked where he was looking, seeing Meredith.