All The Little Lights // c.b

20

Dad drove me the long way to lunch, letting me see the scenery, despite the fact I was literally here two months ago.

"Dad, you know I was here two months ago, right?" I ask for the hundredth time, and he nods.

"Just want you to appreciate home." He answers with a smile. I close my eyes a sigh, feeling irritated at the comment.

"I have home. In Los Angeles. With my best friend. And boyfriend," I say, and he just nods to my answer.

"Yes, but this is your birth home. You got to appreciate it, it is so different from LA," he says.

"You are the one who agreed to let me move," I say, and he nods, remembering.

"I know. But this is your true home, and I believe you must always remember your true home," he says, and I give up, leaning back in my seat and looking out the window. We finally get to the lunch place, and he parks. I follow him inside and we are seated at the table.

"What looks good?" Dad asks, breaking the silence that had formed.

"I don't know," I answer, and look at the menu. When the waitress came over, I waited for my dad to order before I did.

"Grilled chicken sandwich," he says, and the waitress writes it down.

"Same," I answer, and fold the menu and hand it to the young girl.

"Your order will be right up," she says with a smile and aunties away.

"So, Josie, tell me about this boyfriend of yours," he asks, and I smile, wishing Colby was here with me.

"He's amazing. I met him here actually, when I was visiting, and we started dating about a month after our visit," I say, looking down at the colorful tablecloth.

"Does he have a job? How old is he?" dad asks, leaning towards me slightly.

"He is a YouTuber, and he is 21," I answer, meeting my dads eyes.

"YouTube isn't a job. Does he have a real job?" He asks, and I widen my eyes at him.

"YouTube is a job. He loves it, and he doesn't have another job besides YouTube," I say, and he clasps his hands together.

"What's his name?" He asks, and I smiled as I said it.

"Colby," I answer, and look down at my lap.

"I want to meet this, Colby. Can we come visit?" My dad asks as our food is brought to us.

"Can we go to him instead?" I ask, and my dad shakes his head. Damnit, I was hoping I could just fly back and never come home again. We eat in silence, and when we were done my dad had yet more questions to ask me.

"So, why do you never want to come home? Why do you never want to fly here?" He asks, and I press my lips into a thin line.

"I don't like my stepmother," I say flatly, and he tilts his head.

"Why? I think she is a very sweet woman, better than your mother was," he says, and I felt my face grow hot.

"Don't talk like that about mom." I say. Not even Ella knew this, but my mom passed away two years ago, which is one of the reasons I wanted to move to La to start over. My mom made such a big impact on my life, and hearing my father say that this new woman was better than mom made me infuriated.

"Don't talk like that about your stepmom." He says, throwing my reaction back at me.

"Mom was a better parent than you, hands down. You worked twenty four seven, I dont even remember you until you finally slowed your workload down when I was 16. Mom walked me to school my first day, she was there when I went to homecoming, she was there for prom, she was there for everything! But you weren't," I say, and feel my cheeks grow hot and red.

"I'm sorry, Jo, I shouln't have said that," he says, and I could tell he was sorry, but I didn't want to hear any more of his shit.

"I'm going to take a walk," I say, and leave the diner. When I am it of eyesight and earshot, I call Colby. He answers quickly, and I start crying the second he says hello.

"Josie, what happened?" He asks, and I take a right down a small trail that I remembered from when I lived here.

"My dad happened," I said, wiping my eyes carefully.

"What? What did he say?' He asks, and I take a breath before I speak.

"He said my stepmom is better than my mom." I said, and he is quiet on the other end.

"Where is your mom?" He asks finally, and I spill the truth.

"She passed two years ago. She was the only one that was actually there for me, and my dad had the audacity to say that this woman he married was better than my mom! She is horrible, she is so mean and doesn't call me Josie and she thinks she is this high goddess or some shit!" I say into the phone, smiling at a group of people I passed on the trail.

"I'm so sorry about your mom, Jo. Why didn't you tell me?" He asks, and I felt a fresh wave of tears form.

"I haven't told anyone. Not even Ella knows," I say, and decide to sit on a tree stump that was off to the side of the trail.

"I'm glad you told me. As for your stepmom, I'm sorry about her too," he says, and I shake my head.

"It's fine. I miss you," I say, and put my head in my hands.

"I know baby, I miss you too," he says, and I begin crying again.

"You do not know how badly I want to be home right now," I say after a minute, and I swear I could hear him nodding.

"I want you back here to, Jo," he says, and I wipe my eyes again.

"I just got to try to make it for six months, then I'll be home," I say, and nod to myself.

"Six months," he repeats back to me, and I smile.

"I love you Colby," I say, and he says it back, and I hang up. I walk back on the trail from where I came. I make it back on the road and head back towards the diner, where my dad was sitting in his car. When he sees me approach, he gets out and stands there, waiting.

"I'm sorry, Josie," he says, and I shrug and get in the passenger side. We drive home in silence, and I try to ct through the house quickly so I could try to avoid my stepmother.

"Josephine! How was lunch?" He asks as my hand was on the handle of the back door.

"Fine," I say, and escape outside. When I make it to my guest house I lock the door behind me and flop onto my bed, falling asleep very quickly.