I Didn't Plan On Loving You

where have you gone

Eren's POV

I heard a my phone go off, telling me to get up.I turned it off and was about to go back to sleep when my door was busted open.

"what the fuck do you think your doing? Get up you piece of shit "

Grisha yelled and slammed my door shut.

I sigh and got up.At least I didn't get a morning beating, thats good.But I guess I have to get ready for school now.

I headed inside my bathroom and looked at the mirror.

'stupid fat faggot'

'monster'

'suicidal bastard'

'cocksucker'

'Dick taker'

'Die'

I looked and saw my razor.So tempting...I couldn't stop myself from grabbing it and admiring its blade.

I slowly lift my wrist and pushed the blade on my skin and drag it down, red liquid started to drip.

I smiled as I see it come out.I kept dragging the blade making more cuts over the old ones and just sighed.Relief was I felt.

Making each cut deeper but not too deep. I couldn't bring myself to cut deeper, no matter how hard I tried.

Someting was holding me back from doing the thing I most wanted to do...

To just end it...

To feel free...

To fly without being caught...

Something was keeping me from flying...

And I don't know why...

I cleaned my blade and hid it so that Grisha won't find it.

I Took a quick shower and got dressed, cleaning my cuts and wrapping it up,again.I headed down and made my father and myself some breakfast.

"is it done yet! I'm starvin here!"

Grisha came in just in time as I set the plate infront of him.

"your shit is on the counter, now eat and get out"

I nod and ate silently.I put the dishes in the sink and grabbed my bag, Heading out.

"I'm headin out!

"whatever"

Well love you too.He wasn't what you call a father, but I still loved him.I took the bus to school while plugging my headphones on.

Entering the doors to my school I could already feel stares coming from the people around me as I walked in but ignored them.

I entered the pin to my locker and got out my books.Closing my locker I felt a push behind me and I can see a group of guys laughing while running.

Eren reached behind his back and felt something, taking it read 'Faggot' he sigh and threw it in the bin.

He silently went to my class and sat at the back closest to the window.

I felt a tap beside me and turned to see Armin.

"oh, Hey Armin"

Taking off my headphones I smiled lightly at him.

"hey Eren"

Armin smiled.

But I think he saw right threw my smile.He frowned and sat down in the seat beside me.

"you feeling okay?"

I nod

"fine, just tired"

Armin nods and looked behind him.

"oh look theres Levi"

What! my eyes widen when I saw the raven enter with his heart stopping smile.My heart race started to pace and I felt the same butterflies fluttering inside.

"Levi!"

Armin called out.He saw him and smiled, heading to the seat infront on him and sat down.

"hey Armin the man!"

Levi fist bumped armin then turned to me

"Sup Bombastic"

I lightly blush at his nickname for me.but I answered with the same action

"All good Cleanfreak"

Levi laughed and I was sure my heart stopped ,hearing his laugh was my favorite.

as kids we would give each other ridiculous names and as time went we decided to just stick with it and made it our call signs.

I sighed as those memories came back and suddenly felt sadden as those times were lost.

Levi must have seen me and asked.

"you alright Eren?"

I looked at him and said

"yeah."

"he's just tired"

Armin said.Levi looked him unsure but nodded nontheless.

"so anyways, how's it going between you and Petra?"

"were doin great,but I need your help with something"

Levi said.

"what for?"

Eren asked.

Levi smiled"I'm gonna ask her to be my girlfriend"he said.

I put up a supportive face on, but inside I was hurting.

Armin secretly glance at me and looked like he knew what I was feeling.But said nothing.

"that's great! what do need help with?"I said.

Levi's face lightened up

"I knew you guys would help, oh man this is going to be awesome!"he exclaimed.

I laughed at his excited figure.

Armin just smiled."what are friends for bro" he said looking at me sadly.

Friend.We were friends.Nothing else.But I can't help but fall for Levi more and more everyday.

I mean who wouldn't fall for him.He was the captain of the basketball team and is the most popular and handsome hearthrobe in the school.

All the girls have gone all their ways to get his attention.But I didn't liked him because of those.I've fallen for who he was, the Levi who didn't care of the titles and just went on his days as the Levi I played with as kids.

The boy who loved to watch netflix and would constantly eat cheetos and burgers.The boy who had dirt and leaves in his hair and clothes, and would sometimes become a clean freak in 3 seconds tops.The boy that I played and spent everyday with.The Levi who was my best friend, and not the Golden boy at school.

I looked at the two boys as they talked about the up coming game and decided to tune out as the teacher came in.

"alright, get out your textbooks and read out chapter 209"

we did what he said and started class.I took a look at Levi and frown.His changed alot since the years passed.

'where has my best friend gone, and will he ever come back...'

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

To be continued...

A/N this was supposed to be a project in our class but it was soo good that I had to make this and decided to publish it.But I had to write it all in paper before writing it in draft.

Let me know what you think and comment if you think I should continue.