Life Begins To Blur (Mean Girls)

Safe

I wrote this from the perspective of Gretchen, so that's why it's here but it's pretty universal since I didn't mention names. Enjoy.

Maybe this time, I'll be lucky

I was in love. In love with his long hair and sharp eyes. His smile that warned me inside. When he hugged me, I was alive. He was the only one who believed in me. To him, I was prettier than the stars.

Maybe this time, he'll stay

But she was the sun. She changed him. He wasn't mine anymore. If only I hadn't seen their lips meet.

Maybe this time

He was the one when we held each other on the couch for hours on end, watching film after film. He was mine when he told me he wanted a picture to remember how beautiful I looked. He was mine at three am when we'd both be awake miles apart but he'd message me and we were close.

For the first time

First love never lasts. Of course I know that. But it felt real. Life was colourful for those few short months.

Love won't hurry away

I wish I could get angry. I wish I didn't just let him go, melting in his manipulation. He wasn't the perfect angel I knew. But he was perfect..... For a while.

He will hold me fast

The warmest hugs on a road to somewhere, a road to nowhere.

I'll be home at last

Home.... Where I live. But he was more like home than home ever has been.

Not a loser anymore

I was special for a while. People didn't just look through me. They knew my name. And now I'm invisible. Invisible again.

Like the last time

"Bitch."

And the time before

"Retard."

Everybody loves a winner

"What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"You won me, Princess."

So nobody loves me

"Did you ever love me?"
"It doesn't matter. I don't love you now."

'Lady Peaceful, '

"Baby, you're paying."
"Get me a beer..... Well if there's none left, go and buy more. Thanks, sweetie."

'Lady Happy, '

"You can't see your friends this weekend. We're going to the beach. You love the beach. It's going to be so fun."

That's what I long to be

As tears sting my eyes and my heart..... Could I have been prettier? Would you have stayed?

All the odds are in my favor

"If you want something, go and get it."
I'm trying. I tried. My feet are rooted to the slowly sinking ground. I won't be here much longer.

Something's bound to begin

I don't know how it can hurt more. But it does. Every day. I can't scream and cry. I must be pretty, perfect. Plastic.

It's got to happen, happen sometime

Will I ever meet the perfect guy? Will they ever even see me here?

Maybe this time I'll win

I can't stay here. I can't stay in this. Whatever unseen force is torturing me this way.

'Cos,
Everybody loves a winner

Does she paint with you? Do you make her laugh in the rain and hold her as the sun sets? Do you smile just for her? Is she who you really wanted?

So nobody loves me

Unloved. Alone. Afraid.

'Lady Peaceful, ' 'Lady Happy, '

NO! I don't want to fit a mould. I want to be me. Just me.

That's what I long to be

Push me down and I'll get up. Watch me push the fear down and stride with confidence. I won't break, I won't break.

All the odds are in my favor

I broke.

Something's bound to begin

Please save me.....
It's got to happen, happen sometime

It's nearly over.....

Maybe this time

They can't keep saving me. One day..... I'll be gone.

Maybe this time, I'll win

A tap on the shoulder. Turning to blonde hair, crystal blue eyes.

Safe.