Life Begins To Blur (Mean Girls)

Already Gone

Tw : Suicide.
I nearly made myself cry writing this in school. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know what I did.

Remember all the things we wanted

Cady Heron. The girl Janis has always wanted. The pretty auburn hair and sparkling eyes. The nervous laugh and fiery spirit. But she wants her too much.....

Now all our memories, they're haunted

The night of the art show. The night her heart shattered and only Damian was left to pick up the pieces. And yet she still wants her..... Wants her too much....

We were always meant to say goodbye

It will never work out.

Even with our fists held high

No matter how hard Janis fights. No matter how many people she knocks away. No matter how much she wishes...

It never would have worked out right

It's for the best. She'd get hurt either way.

We were never meant for do or die

Never meant to do.... Only thing left to do.

I didn't want us to burn out

Janis's flaming spirit dragged them away. Her careless actions tearing it up in flames brighter than Cady's hair. Cady's lavender scented hair. Her perfect lips. Her soft hands. Her.....

I didn't come here to hurt you now

She couldn't bring herself to say goodbye. Not when Cady hugged her in apology. One last spring fling where she clung onto Damian so tight. She could see him getting concerned, but she couldn't stop.

I can't stop

It's too late.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Dear world,
It's not your fault. Or maybe it is. Well, it's happened now, it's over. Water under the bridge, I guess you could say. Ha, how ironic...

Where we take this road, but someone's gotta go

Caddie, it had to happen. It was me or you. Have fun with Damian, look after him. Enjoy your life. P. S. I loved you... And not as a friend.

And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better

Damian, my sweet, kind, lovely, amazing Damian....
I'm sorry. What else can I say? You can do this without me. I know I promised, but I didn't have a choice. You're so strong and I'll watch over you. I'll see you again, hopefully not too soon. I promise I love you, you couldn't have changed this.

But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone

She didn't even get changed, just got in the car... Technically, she's not got a permit to drive, but what can they do? If she crashes, it just happens quicker in its own cruel way.

Looking at you makes it harder

One last time she looked at the picture. All three of their smiling faces. Her fingertip rests gently on their features, picturing her as she once was. Being happy was just a mask. She was never meant to be happy.

But I know that you'll find another

Anyone could replace her. Aaron Samuels. Dawn Schweitzer. Regina George even. She was never that special. Never really needed, wanted. How long will it take for them to move on?

That doesn't always make you wanna cry

Cady's perfect tears when Janis was such a bitch. She made Caddy Heron cry, her frail shoulders shaking. She made that happen.

And Damian. How many times has she made him cry? Endless times. It never stops. He'll cry again when she leaves. And this time she won't be there to help.

It started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in

She will never kiss Cady's lips. Just as well. Cady is as straight as they come. She would just infect her, ruin her beautiful purity....

Snap out of it, Sarkisian.

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

Cady's perfect. She deserves someone perfect. Perfect can't save Janis. Perfect can't save anyone. Perfect is a cruel joke.

You know that I love you so

Mom, I love you. I'm sorry. I love you.
Tell Holly that I love her. That I'm always with her. I'm with both of you. One less mouth to feed now, I guess.

I love you enough to let you go

The edge. The dizzying height. The raging waves. Her shaking grip. Get it together. Just let go. Let go. Let go, come on. End it now.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

She'll never matter again.

Where we take this road, but someone's gotta go

Falling too fast.

And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better

Heart breaking. So alone. So alone.

But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone

Fragile broken body. Heart no longer beating.

So I'm already gone

It's over.

Remember all the things we wanted

Janis swore she would walk Damian down the aisle at his wedding.

Now all our memories, they're haunted

He can't even cry. How can his best friend be gone? No more horror movies curled on her couch. No more weekend icecream dates. No more flowers at every performance. No more Janis.

We were always meant to say goodbye

He drops out of the musical. His voice breaks in his solo at her funeral. He can't hold on any longer.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Cady understands. She knows how hard it was. She wishes she were there to hold her, that she could see before it was too late.

Where we take this road, but someone's gotta go

She places flowers where she fell, apologising to the wind. It was her fault. She was the reason Janis had to die.

And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better

Maybe if she'd been brave enough to tell her..... Maybe if she'd actually said the words. Now she can only whisper those three words to the wind.

But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone

And now Damian is broken. She doesn't see how he'll ever recover. He won't let himself break. Does he blame her?

I'm already gone

He does at first. Won't speak to her, look at her. His heart breaks afresh when he sees her face, hears her name. But it wasn't her. She couldn't have saved his JanJan. No one could.

Remember all the things we wanted

Icecream dates with two, not three. Quieter, more solemn. They cling to each other drowning in pain. This is all they have left.

Now all our memories, they're haunted

He finally breaks in the safety of Cady's arms. They share memories until dawn. No one can replace her, but they have to move on. She's gone.

We were always meant to say goodbye

They have to move on. She's gone.