Life Begins To Blur (Mean Girls)

See you soon

Am I writing out my pain with a song that is both painful and inspiring? Am I throwing words on paper quickly before sleep? Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Idk why I wrote this.
Tw: Suicide.

So long to all of my friends

"Space Dyke."
"Leave us alone."
"She's going to molest you."
"We think you're a lesbian."

Every one of them met tragic ends

Never do friends stay.

With every passing day 

Every day marked by a red line or ten blossoming on my arms where no-one can see.

I'd be lying if I didn't say
That I miss them all tonight

She was my friend. A genuine friend. She's changed now. Now she hurts where once she promised to protect me forever.

And if they only knew what I would say

I don't want to be alive if this is what being alive means.

If I could be with you tonight

Is it wrong that I'd leap at the chance? I just want my friend back, want this to end.

I would sing you to sleep

Want to lean on her while she combs through my hair.

Never let them take the light behind your eyes

I have Damian, forever smiling, happy. Amazing, but... He's not her.

One day I'll lose this fight

I can't do this.

As we fade in the dark

I can't keep the light.

Just remember you will always burn as bright

Damian says I'm strong. He promises me I can hold on, but he doesn't know how it hurts. How can he know how weak I actually am?

Be strong and hold my hand

I'm falling and there's no-one to catch me.

Time becomes for us, you'll understand

Falling and I can't hold on.

We'll say goodbye today 

I hug Damian tighter, tell him I love him. He'll be okay.

And I'm sorry how it ends this way

I wish I was stronger.

If you promise not to cry

I wish it wouldn't hurt you.

Then I'll tell you just what I would say

I'm slipping away.

If I could be with you tonight

When you find me. When the pain hits. Remember I love you. Please. I always will.

I would sing you to sleep

You always loved my voice. I don't. People can always do things better than me.

Never let them take the light behind your eyes

You're stronger than me. Hold onto the light.

I'll fail and lose this fight

Weak. Coward. Dyke. Useless. Idiot. Retard. Born wrong. Ugly. Molester.

Never fade in the dark

I let go. It will be okay.

Just remember you will always burn as bright

Burn for me. Damian, mom, Holly. You guys were my life. I'm sorry it wasn't enough.

The light behind your eyes
The light behind your

Sometimes we must grow stronger

You're stronger.

And you can't be stronger in the dark

I can't escape the dark

When I'm here, no longer
You must be stronger and....

I'm sorry.

If I could be with you tonight

It's the only way.

I would sing you to sleep

I know you'll be okay. Better maybe without me to hold you back.

Never let them take the light behind your eyes

I can't bear to watch you fall apart. You know I want you to live.

I failed and lost this fight

I'm losing.

Never fade in the dark

I'm fading .

Just remember you will always burn as bright

It's nearly over. I'll be okay, I'm happy now.

The light behind your eyes

Everything is spinning.

The light behind your eyes

Everything is dark.

The light behind your eyes

I hit the ground hard.

The light behind your eyes

Goodbye.

The light behind your eyes

I love you.

The light behind your eyes

Good....

The light behind your eyes

Bye....

The light behind your eyes

See you soon....

The light behind your eyes

Soon....

The light behind your....