Voices of Silence

First Voice

The first time it happened to me I was 4 years old, I was at a party of one of my daycare classmates,

my mother took me to the party place and left me there, everything was so beautiful, I had never seen so many toys, at some point in the party one of the clown dressing gowns took me by the hand and said that we would go to another patio where there were more toys, we left the ballroom by a long corridor, his steps were accelerating, pulling me I said I did not want to go, he took me in his lap, covered my mouth and entered a room, I remember he had a table and many things party decor ...

In this room he began to run his hand in me and said that if I screamed, he would kill me, his hands would be under my clothes and my fingers would touch me, I would feel a lot of pain and fear. When he finished, he said he knew where I lived, and that if I told anyone, he would steal my mother and do it to me every day.

When I stopped crying, he took me back to where all the children were and was always close to me watching me, when my mother arrived, and he took me on his lap, squeezed me tightly and led me to her, I was with fear, I started to cry, but did not say anything, I do not remember what he said to my mother, but he was always smiling.

My mother must have thought that I was crying for not wanting to leave the party, how long the fear had subsided a bit and my life was getting normal.

The second time this happened to me I was 10 years old, my mom and dad went out and left me and my 16 year old brother at home, I was sleeping, I woke up with him in my bed running his hand in me when I woke up he was scared and tried to disguise, I asked what was happening, he said nothing and left the room.

A few days went by until we were home alone again, I do not remember where our parents had gone, but they would be gone all day, after I spent the morning watching drawings he came into my room and locked the door, said that the people he would play, and started to run a hand at me, I tried to scream and he hit me, threw me on the bed, took off my clothes and raped me.

When he finished, he said many things, we were of evangelical family, he said that if anyone knew what happened, I would go to hell and he would kill me himself.

My behavior changed, I began to have several problems beyond fear and isolation.

The time has passed. At 12 I started to like a school girl, I had a declaration of love written to her in my notebook, my brother found it,

He ripped the sheet out of my notebook and waited for us to go home alone, he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into the bathroom, saying that I was the devil, cursing and beating said he would teach me to be a woman he ripped my clothes and raped me while he said that was what I was and I was born to do this, before ending while I was lying on the bathroom floor he masturbated and jumped on me left and left me there crying.

When I took a bath, the same day my father came home beating and cursing me, saying that I had not raised a daughter to please Satan, nor let me talk or explain anything, only beat me until I fainted, after raping my brother went to my father and handed the letter to him and said that he had beaten me because of her, the more I tried to speak what my brother had done, the more my father beat me, I do not remember much after that, I got scared , I spent months with the marks on my body.

Some time after that, I ran away from home;

The rest of my story is the same as many others who went through what I went through.

I was born on January 6, 1995, in Olinda, Recife, and before the age of 12 I learned what is rotten in the behavior of those who call themselves human.