Voices of Silence

tenth voice

I was born in Bahia, my parents were married until I turned 09 years old, then they separated, my father moved to São Paulo, my mother and I stayed in Bahia, at that time my mother hired a baba to take care of me and she could to work, she always dropped me off at the babysitter's house and I stayed there until night when my mom came home from work and picked me up.

The baba and I stayed at the house, I rarely saw her husband,

a few months passed like that, with nothing strange happening.

I turned 10 years old and she had a party for me, there were several children in the house, but what caught my attention was the door that led to the flagstone, it was closed, her husband was doing a renovation, and I was curious to see, when there was nobody looking I opened the door and went up the stairs, There were 03 men I didn't know, having a barbecue and drinking beer, when they looked at me, I was afraid, but I heard the baba's husband say, this is the birthday girl the party today is hers, it calmed me down, he came to me, took my hand and said, you shouldn't be here, construction is a dangerous place for children, he was drunk, he started to pull me down the stairs, we were going towards the party, but when he got close to the door he pulled me into a bathroom, locked the door, started to smooth and kiss me, I was crying and asking to stop, he sent me shut up, be quiet, he took off my dress and panties, c started to suck my body.

Then she laid me on the floor and climbed on top of me, covered my mouth with her hand, the more I tried to react, the more he tried hard, I felt a lot of pain, the drool missed me and started looking for me, she heard the noises and came to the bathroom door, she screamed asking what was going on, he cursed, said it was nothing, and continued, when he finished, I lay on the floor, crying, covered in blood ...

He opened the door, his wife was desperate screaming, she went on hitting him calling him a monster, he kept laughing, until he started hitting her, he pulled her by the hair while punching, and said if any of us two say something he would kill us.

He dropped her on the floor and gave several kicks, after he left, she bathed me, and asked me not to say anything about what had happened to anyone.

My mother only learned that her husband hit the baba and did not take me to stay at their house anymore.

A few months after that happened, things between my father and mother were resolved, and he picked us up to live with him in São Paulo.

First I felt relief for going away, the fear lessened, today I feel hatred and disgust for knowing that nothing happened to him, and that he continues to live as if nothing has happened.

I was born in Bahia on September 7, 2005, they stole my childhood from me, they took from me something that left a void so big that it suffocates.