Voices of Silence

ninth voice

You know when there is someone who is your hero, someone you admire and have as an example, well ... This person I admired was my aunt's husband, he is a veterinarian,

I loved the way he treated animals, all the care and affection he had for them, that delighted me, besides everything he always treated me very well, since he married my aunt he treated me like a daughter, since mine 04 years old I always spent a lot of time with them I always went to visit the animals in his office, the weekends I had the right address, I couldn't wait for the days to pass for the weekend to come back, that was my 04 routine at 07 years of age, my dream was to be like him, I didn't want another profession for me if I wasn't going to be a veterinarian.

At 07 years of age, on April 18, 2008, on a Friday my hero became a monster, on the day I didn't quite understand what was happening, I just knew he was hurting me, I just didn't know what ...

I studied in the morning, and like every Friday Friday after school, my father left me at my uncle's office, I remember that I was all happy that he had delivered a dog and there were several puppies of the breed labrador.

After spending the afternoon with my uncle in the office we went to their house, my aunt was not, she was on duty in the infirmary, and she would only come home at dawn, she ate at dusk everything was normal, we played a lot, after dinner he gave me ice cream and turned on the TV, put the movie 101 dalmatians, I loved that movie.

When the movie ended he told me to take a shower, when I was leaving the bathroom wrapped in a towel he picked me up and took me to his room, said we were going to play and that it would be our little secret, he took a make up and as aunt's jewelry , I was all happy playing, he said again that no one could know and kissed me, I was numb, he kissed my mouth and laid me on the bed, I was just in a towel, he kept saying that I couldn't say anything to nobody and that was our secret, he took a towel from me, turned me on his back and pulled me to the edge of the bed, after that I just remember feeling a lot of pain, and he telling me to be quiet, to be calm that would stop hurting , it hasn't stopped, it hasn't stopped hurting until today, and every day it hurts more.

I did what he asked me, I didn't tell anyone, but time passed, and the fear that I started to feel of him grew, I avoided visits, until I didn't go to his house anymore, even though the fear and the the pain didn't diminish, it took me a long time to understand what had happened, but the feelings that I don't understand until today, so much pain, anger, disappointment, sadness, fear, shame and even guilt.

I know the name of the feelings, but I don't know what it is when you feel it all at the same time, and with intensity.

The voice of silence that I kept screams inside me and it hurts, it hurts me until today.

When I stopped going to his house, he separated from my aunt, maybe for fear of me saying something, at the time I didn't understand, but today I know I should have spoken, I know that everyone is studying what he did to me.

I was born in 2001, today I have no religion, but I understand well when they say that Lucifer the most beautiful angel of light became a demon, because who was my hero became the monster that haunts my nightmares every night and my thoughts every day .