Voices of Silence

fifteenth voice

I always loved dancing, with a lot of struggle and a lot of fighting, I convinced my mother to let me participate in a social project where they taught various dance styles, I was passionate about street dance, it was the class I chose, after a few months I had I became the teacher's assistant and started teaching classes for beginners, this was an incredible achievement for me, I was only 12 ...

I started to spend all my free time at the NGO, I learned other dance styles, I had been participating in the NGO for about a year, 05 months as assistant to the teacher, one day we left a few hours earlier, his house was on the way to mine and we always went together, there he went in I continued on my way, that day he called me to play video games, it was a few hours before the time I had to get home so I stayed, we started playing, after a while he took a beer and offered me some, then another, and one more ...

I was already dizzy and decided to leave, he pulled me by the arm, told me to stay, that the best part was going to start, I didn't understand why he said this, I tried to leave, he pulled me hard, and he knocked me down , he started yelling at me, told me to shut up and be quiet, I tried to get up and he hit me, took me to the bedroom, started kissing me, crying, telling him to stop, he pulled my clothes and sucked my breasts, told I stop being cool, that he knew I wanted to give him ...

He threw me on the bed and took off my shorts, he made me on all fours, the more I cried, screamed, asked to stop, the happier he seemed, while he raped me he said I was not the first and that they were all the same way, they were all fresh, but they were happy ... After coming, he left me in bed, went to the wardrobe and came back with a pistol, slid it through my body, put it in my mouth and said that if he pull the trigger no one would miss me, he took the gun out of my mouth, and made me suck his penis, while pointing the gun at my face, when it was over he gave me a bullet and sent me away.

Before he died I didn't have the courage to talk about what happened to anyone, I was 13 when he raped me and I only felt a little safe at 16 when he was killed by a drug dealer, he raped the wrong person's sister, and did to him what I always dreamed of doing, before killing him they cut off his penis and made him eat.

I was born and raised in Morro do Vidigal, and I was happy for the traffic to do what the police cannot do, when he handed me the bullet, he said in my ear that the penalty for rape is only 08 years.

I went home feeling like crap, wondering why he didn't kill me right away, why he left me feeling so much pain.

It was only after a long time that I managed to put the anger in the right place and understand that the only culprit is him, that I was not to blame, it didn't happen because I went into his house to play video

game, it didn't happen because of my short clothes or because of the shape of my body, it just happened because my steps crossed the path of a monster.

I understood that it was not the place, and it was not the result of an attitude of mine, it happened to me because he is a monster, and I know it happened other times, with other girls, before and after me.

I know that none of us were at fault.