★ ☆ Jojo's Bizarre Adventure oneshots ☆ ★

Honey, I Shrank The Duwang Gang...

CRACK!
THIS IS A CRACK!

AN OC CRACK BUT A CRACK NONETHELESS!

enjoy my son

It was a bright sunny day in morioh cho, and josuke, okuyaso and koichi were all hanging out at the hiyoshimada household.

The phone rang and Jiho ran to grab it. "Hullo?" he said into the phone. "Its me." The voice said over the phone. "Rohan and I will be over in a bit." The call ended and Jiho shrugged. 'okay then.' He thought.

Moments later, his front door opened. "We have news on Kira." The man with a matching hat and coat said. He recognized the man as Jotaro Kujo, marine biologist and father of one. 'damn, what a hottie.' Jiho thought, before the second man popped his head inside. "This kid named Hiyato Kawajiri has been acting suspiciously around his dad." He had an odd headband on with pen nib earrings. 'DAMN TWO HOTTIES' The teen thought. Josuke stood up, before Jiho's housewife of a father came in with snacks. "Here ya go, kids!" He said, setting a plate of fresh cookies down in front of them. All of the boys looked at the plate and scrambled to it. Fuck yeah, home made cookies!

Jack, Jiho's father, smiles before a loud bell chimes in the house. Jiho looks up. "Dad, was that your Stand?" Jack nods. With a mouth full of cookies, each of the boys look up at Jiho's father. "What's the new ability for today?" Jiho asked.

"Lets find out." Jack said, as his stand appeared next to him. It was white with a clockface on its stomach and left eye. The clockfaces being a gold, along with what seemed to be its shorts. "What's its name?" Josuke asked. "Strangeland." Jack replied as it struck a stupid pose. All the boys looked in awe at each other, as they began glowing a strange yellow color. Jack watched in horror as the boys shrank into very very tiny versions of themselves.

"Oh my god." Jack said aloud. "What have I done?"

Moments later, Jack had gathered all the boys and placed them into a shoebox with a soft, small blanket stuffed into it for comfort. Okuyaso wimpered in fear, as Koichi attempted to comfort him. Josuke began screaming out very adorable and tiny threats about how he was gonna beat Strangeland's ass, Jotaro simply sat in the box, knowing he could do nothing about the situation, and so he did nothing. Rohan began examining everything, jotting down details on his hand. He muttered excitingly about how this would make a great bit in his manga, as Jiho tried reassuring everyone, that his mom would be home soon, and she would fix everything.

Jack bit his nails in horror as the front door opened. He slapped the lid onto the box, and attempted to sit causually in the kitchen.

Kasper, his loving wife, eyed the livingroom. The plate of cookies still partially full, the videogame on screen still on the pause screen. Even chairs still pulled out from multiple people sitting around eating cookies.

She walked into the kitchen. Her eyes instantly landed on the shoebox her husbands arm was drapped over.

"Jack." She said, getting his attention. His head snapped towards her. "Yeeeeees?" He asked, a hint of fear in his voice. She placed her suitcase on the bar across from him. "Jack, what's in the box?" She asked. He stood, abruptly, and took the box with him, laughing nervously. "How was your day at work? Got any good gossip on your boss? Ooh, is that Amanda still acting like a total slut?" He asked, attempting to change the subject. "Okay, no, and we live in Japan, I don't even know an Amanda."

'Damn, she's good.' He thought.

"Jack, what's in the box?" She asked again. "I swear to christ if its a bunch of giant centipedes, I'll blend them up and force feed them to you."

A small squeek came from the box, along with a very very high pitched "ORA, ORA, ORA, ORAAAAA" As the lid of the box flew off.

The woman looked down in awe. Not only her son, but all of her son's hot friends had been shrunken. "Eheheh, surprise...?" Jack said, nervously.

"Jack," She began, "Jack,"

"Did you seriously shrink the Duwang gang? Are you seriously trying to hide them as well? Did you really think i wouldnt notice our son was missing? I am not stupid Jack. Our son is tiny. How are we to fix this?"

he gave a nervous laugh.

it was gonna be a long night.

*dab* crackfic of my son and his weird ass family. my friend (who is jack) and i made up this storyline. i literally wrote this at two am and died laughing. i hate myself and my life.

also my son has hot friends ***triple dab***