you're my hope ~MILEVEN AU~

vii - the apologetic girl

Jane sat staring out of the window at the dinner table, watching the clouds thoughtfully. Her gaze switched to the wooded path that she could barely make out due to the stormy night, and she was instantly reminded of all of those hours wasted waiting for her mom to come home. She could hardly believe how stupid she was, sitting there like a fool waiting for someone who clearly didn't want her. 

"She is never going to reach out to me, is she?" Jane glanced back at her dad who was pushing his dinner around the plate, looking up at his daughter with a frown. 

"Who?" he questioned but she simply raised her eyebrows. "You mean your mom, right?"

Jane nodded and her dad sighed, looking back down at his plate to try and think of the right thing to say. He didn't want to give her false hope but he also didn't want to break her heart. 

"I can't believe I wasted all those stupid hours waiting for her to come home" Jane scoffed lightly, leaning her head against the cold glass of the window. "So stupid."

"Hey, you're not stupid" her dad insisted, pointing a fork at her. "Look kid, your mom had shitty excuses and one day when you're ready to hear the full story, I can help you try and get into contact with her. But don't you ever blame yourself, okay? I also don't want your fear of rejection and betrayal getting in the way of something that makes you happy."

"Huh?" Jane gave him a funny look. 

"That Mike kid came by again yesterday evening" her dad confessed, rubbing his beard as Jane froze, "asking for you. He told me that you hated him but for some reason I don't believe that judging by the sour face you have had all week."

Jane glanced back at the window without another word. 

"Look, I know that people can hurt you. It happens a lot but that doesn't mean that what your mom did will happen to you again. It doesn't mean that everyone is going to walk out on you like she did, okay? I don't know what happened between you and that boy but he looked crushed...he seems like a good kid, Jane and I don't want you pushing someone that makes you happy away because of this irrational fear."

"I know" Jane's voice was shaky, "I'm trying but it's just hard."

"Now, I'm not saying to go and get yourself a boyfriend...you know what I think about the boys of this town. But he seems like he cares a lot, kid. Just give the boy a chance if it will make you happy."

Jane knew that her dad was right, he was getting along fine being a parent as well as a good cop. But it was harder than it seemed and it had become a terrible habit of Jane's to push someone away when they seemed to be getting close. It was even worse that she liked him, her heart feeling like it could burst whenever she saw him or feeling like it was shattering into tiny pieces when she wasn't around him. 

Love was such a scary thing and Jane was so scared that the more time she spent with Mike discussing hot chocolate toppings or reading literature, that her feelings would only intensify. She was terrified to have her heart broken, but even more petrified that the one to break it could end up being the kind but nerdy Mike Wheeler that she could not stop thinking about. 

The next Friday that Jane volunteered at the cafe, she was making a cup of hot chamomile tea when she almost burned herself by hearing the chime of the door. Becky glanced at her with a small smile when she glanced at the door and saw that none other than sweet Mike Wheeler had walked into the cafe. He was wearing a striped polo t-shirt underneath a navy blue soft jacket, his hands in his pockets to wipe off the clamminess. 

He glanced up at Jane nervously, walking forward hesitantly before slowing to a stop in front of her at the cash register. "I'm not here to volunteer or to bother you. I just wanted a hot chocolate, please."