Empire of Ashes

Chapter LXXXI - Some Nights

Yep! This is a day late but in my defence I had neither access to my laptop nor the ability to sit up in bed. I guess you'll just have to wait a day less for the next one, eh?

Anyway, this is probably, I dunno, PG 13? PG 15? Something like that. So, obviously, you should find a responsible adult and— jk jk. This is Wattpad. You'll be fine.

We went into the bedroom, and Tem shut the door behind us. I had no doubt the others would eavesdrop — and they were welcome to — but at least we could have a semblance of privacy. His room was smaller than mine, and certainly more lived in. There were clothes strewn on the floor, the blankets were halfway off the bed, and it smelt like the war camp: sweat, leather and horses.

There was a divan near the window and of course there was the bed, so I could have sat down, but I chose to stand. Tem made the same call, but he was far too close and I hated having to look up at him. Not least because I had to fight to keep my eyes away from his lips.

When I did not immediately shout at him, he risked a grin. "How long do we have?"

"I have to be back before dawn."

"Dawn?" he repeated, sounding amazed. "That is a long time. I didn't think I would get to see you."

"You didn't think you would have to apologise," I snarled. "And what, you would abandon me here tomorrow?"

Tem's face twisted into bewilderment, the grin fading in a heartbeat. "Lyra, you are going to Sierra, like I promised. You didn't believe all that horse shit, did you?"

"I'm not worried that you hate me. I'm furious at you, idiot."

"Oh," Tem said. "Obviously, my actions were unbecoming. That is without question, but I should remind you that you wanted to come. You wanted to help me kill the king. Hell, you walked into Canton of your own free will. This was not so much different."

"Of my own free will?" I laughed. "No, you brought that about. More secrets, more lies, and you had me exactly where you wanted. Like a puppet on a string."

"You say that like you did not see the strings. Like you were not aware of me tugging them," he said softly. "If I bent you to my will, it is because you let me, little one."

And that proved to be my breaking point. All the tension spilled out of me, because the anger was gone, suddenly, replaced by misery. In a way, he was right — I had let him use me. I was, after all, talking to a man who had killed his own father. I had known exactly what he was capable of, and I had still walked into Belmery beside him, willingly and without a fight, because...

"Because I trusted you," I breathed.

"Trusted," he repeated, and there was an awful lot of pain in that one word.

"Trusted, yes. How can that surprise you when you are still keeping things from me?"

And all of a sudden, he couldn't meet my eyes. They were everywhere — the floorboards, the ceiling, the window behind me ... everywhere but me. He scratched at the brace on his wrist and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"Lyra," he said, very quietly. It was a warning.

"How are you going to kill Herox?" I demanded sarcastically. "Go on — tell me."

"No."

There was nothing apologetic about that word. It was a refusal — and a rough one. I felt myself tensing, rising to it, even as worry stirred in the pit of my stomach.

Something was wrong.

"No?" I spat. "Oh, there's a surprise. Got another betrayal to spring on me — is that it? Are you going to hand me over to another enemy?"