Cirque Du Freak: A Freak's Story (soon to be in editing)

Chapter 20: We Accept Her, One Of Us!

I was nervous. Today was the day, the big day. The day I get to show everyone I can do this, and that I do have faith, and that I am a freak, and I'm not afraid to show it.

Everyone was setting up and helping; it was crazy, amazing, joyous madness at the Cirque.

This show was less than an hour away from starting and I was already sweating bullets, rocking myself back and fourth, clutching, clinging, scratching at the ground. I was going to preform in front of hundreds of people tonight. I can't screw this up!

I practiced and trained for a whole week; Lucifer and I already have a bond, and I am starting to understand the neko language. It's strange, really; it sounds a little like the words Bishop whispered when he's scared. Crepsley says it's an ancient language.

Ever since I touched Lucifer, I felt we could never part. He was so gentle, so sweet and loving; he never disobeyed or was mean to anyone if I told him not to be, and he listens to every word I say.

It's amazing, isn't it? How one pathetic, lonely school girl from a small town can become this big in a matter of three months. I was an abused creature; lost and alone with no one to care for me except for four boys, a snake, and myself.

I thought of Steve, Alan, and Tommy all night. I wish you could see me now, guys, I made it. I'm free. Free to be you and me.

I hated myself for that; they were going to miss one of the greatest moments of my life, and it's because I left them. I left them without even saying goodbye, I let them down; I told them we'd be "best friends forever," but forever wasn't as long as I hoped, and I had let them down.

"Ready, Church?" I felt Darren's warm hand on my bare shoulder. He was wearing a suit and tie, and a warm smile, all dressed up for his and my performance.

"Good God, I hope so," I managed to spit out, observing myself in front of the large, lit mirror. Madam Truska made my costume at the last minute, and boy do she do it well. it was a dark purple with grey sequins and white designs; there's a gap in the back that stops where my tail forms, visibly showing that it is not fake. The sleeves come down to my wrists and wrap around my thumb and middle finger. It covers my stomach, and stops a few inches away from my ankles.

It was rather tight when I first tried it on, but that was only because Truska had adjusted the strings too tight, and I had to get Darren to adjust them.

"I think you're going to do great," Darren rubbed at my pale skin.

I smiled at him and slid a clop of short hair behind my ear. "Thank you, Darren." I sighed and slumped my shoulders, fiddling with my fingernails. "I'm just really nervous. What if I mess up? What if Lucifer attacks someone in the crowd? What if I trip or something?"

Darren laughed; how can he be laughing in a situation like this?

"Don't think like that. You only have to focus on what to do and imagine yourself doing it perfectly."

There was the loud sound of murmurs and the pitter-patter of feet. People were flooding into the Big Top, one by one, all rummaging to find a good seat, talking and laughing as they searched. I felt a slight twist in my stomach.

Twenty minutes passed of me staring at myself in the mirror. Truska needed to do my make-up (I never wore make-up, so this was definitely going to bother me) and hair during other performances, but she was no where in sight. My short hair lay flattened to my hair is a dull style.

I glance behind me and looked for Tryska, and spotted her next to Crepsley, chatting while throwing her hair up in a flowing, silky pony tail.

"Truska," I called, and she bucked her head back. When she spotted me, she looked back at Crepsley and said something foreign and scurried off to me. I swear, I saw Crepsley wink at me. Or her, who knows?