The Secrets We Share

TWENTY THREE

Dawn

"Stay back. Stay away from the crash. The ambulance is here! Make way please- make way! Get them out!"   

I could hear them screaming; could hear people yelling orders and I could almost smell the tang of blood in the air- could almost see the crumpled metal of two cars and a truck twisted into a horrible wide, open mouth full of steel fangs-

"There are two cars and one big truck involved- but the truck is smoking really bad. Can you hear me? I think it's going to explode. Shit. It's going to explode. Stay back, everybody! Move AWAY please, stand back- JESUS CHRIST-" 

The moment of awful silence hit me like a truck- and then the world turned blindingly white- a huge explosion blowing the whole world into pieces. Fragments of memories swirled around of a smiling woman with her arms around a toddler; at the park supervising a girl on top of a slide; at the beach holding a scared-looking girl's hand as on oncoming wave threatened to swamp them both- she was laughing- 

Then nothing. 

Then a figure- my dad- slumped on a plastic chair in a grey-looking hospital- as still as the person in the bed. I gradually realised he was holding my hand. 

I slowly leaned over the figure lying in the bed and looked down. 

It was my mum. 

I woke up, disoriented, gasping for breath, my hair plastered to the back of my neck. My pillow was damp; the sheets on the floor. 

I pressed my fingers to my temples and breathed in slowly, sitting up. 

The late afternoon sun streamed through my window, slanting across my bed. 

Late afternoon.... god, how long have I been sleeping for? 

My alarm blinked the time 4:37 pm. From morning to afternoon... had all I done was sleep? 

I took a deep, rattly breath and slowly slid out of bed, stumbling to the bathroom, then stared at myself in the mirror. 

Who would've known how fast things could change. And how it reflected on yourself too. 

My cheeks were flushed like I was running a temperature. My hair was sweaty, and I looked really, really pathetic. 

I breathed in deeply again and then slumped downstairs. A part of me shriveled up as my eyes took in the empty space where Noah's bag had once been. Had I really shut him out, just because no one knew who's fault it was exactly that my mother had almost been killed?

I rubbed my arms as the kitchen clock confirmed the time. I wondered if Mum was okay. 

Of course she's not. 

I grabbed an apple, sat down at the kitchen bench, tried to eat it, and kept on imagining the horrific scene that replayed on and on in my most recent nightmare. Most people's nightmares were of things they were scared of that weren't real- mine was a reality. That was what made it worse. That my mum really was hurt in a car crash that actually happened- and that she was currently in a hospital- and I didn't know if she was okay or not. 

Well, not okay, but at least safe. 

I propped my head on my right hand and gazed outside the window, the apple lying forgotten in front of me. A part of me felt blank, completely empty- and I realised I needed someone here to fill the silence and the emptiness, someone to comfort and reassure me that my mum was most definitely okay and safe and someone whom to I could bawl my eyes out and not be embarrassed. 

Aria? Kat and her beach ball? Or maybe just the beach ball? 

I imagined myself spewing out my life problems to a rainbow beach ball who couldn't have cared less if I drowned in them in my mother's kitchen and stifled a sudden burst of crazy laughter. I covered my mouth with my other hand as my loud laughter rang out in the still kitchen and bit my lip hard enough for the pain to overcome the laughter. 

This was stupid. I knew what I wanted- who I wanted. 

Noah. 

But I'd kicked him out.

He probably hated me. 

Of course he hated me. I would've been pretty unhappy myself if he shut me out. 

I grabbed the apple, took a bite, then lobbed it into the bin. Then I ran upstairs to my bedroom, took the phone, then sat on the edge of my bed. 

I was about to call Noah when I stopped myself, my finger hovering over the call button. 

You don't deserve him, Dawn. After he tried to help you and everything, you don't deserve him. He tried to help you, and you shut him out. It's not his fault you have no one to talk to. It's yours. 

I threw the phone back onto the bed and stepped into the bathroom to have a shower, slamming the door and turning on the water just as my phone vibrated, Noah's name staring up at the ceiling. 

I never picked up. 

Sorry for the loooooong wait guys, but you know, it's the end of the year and everything. I'm not dropping this story, I promise! (Unlike some other people cough cough the fanfic @goddess7533 cough how dare you COUGH) 

Chapter one is completely changed! Everything else has just been patched up, though of course it's not completely free of holes! 

Love you all! 

xxx,

HalloPhoenix