I choose to Fall (Satzu)[COMPLETE]

Chapter 20: Ain't Mine

Right after I left Sana in our room because of what happened. I found myself sitting on my favorite spot. The roof.

I choose to go away from Sana because I need to think things.

I was deep in my own thoughts.

"Shit Tzuyu, What's wrong with you?! Who said you're allowed to do those? She's not yours. Ugh. Why does it have to be this hard?"

I need to get some ground rules here. I need to limit myself.

NO to kissing her forehead/hair,

No to snuggling,

No sweet gestures,

No double meaning words

Don't tell her she's a beauty every morning;

Don't let her nag on you.

 Keep your distance.

This is all for the best. For Sana and for Dahyun. And also for our friendship.

But I know somehow, these boundaries are what I wished for long time ago to cross. The Friendship line.

Another part of being her bestfriend is no matter how painful it might be, is accepting my limitations.

I know it's wrong. But Sana provoked me with her kind and sweet gestures. Until I'll remember that she's not single. That the girl that I was pinning down our bed moments ago is already taken. And the one who owns her is my friend.

So I've decided to avoid her. To think. And for her to have to with Dahyun. I feel guilty because these past few days, it looks like she's not with Dahyun at all. And I know I'm the reason why, because we're always together.

I knew that purposely ignoring Sana is a mistake. I know too that I'll hurt her.

I've been ignoring her since our 3rd anniversary of Twice, I've been dodging her calls, I'll go home late with Momo from JYPE building so that she will not notice me and my only excuse is, "I still want to improve and Momo eonni is still teaching me. Or PD-nim gave me a work to do" but the truth is I want to breathe away from her.

As much as possible, I'll never talk to her, and be near her. Because I can't stop myself and the next time that we're near each other, I won't have the strength to fight my own demons.

I don't want her to get confused, and I swear that I saw that confusion in her face when I pinned her down that bed while I'm summoning every nerves in my body to stop me from kissing her.

I don't like this.....

I didn't dreamed this for myself....

I can't picture myself stealing her from Dahyun.

She ain't mine...

..............................

"Woah, is that you Chou Tzuyu? This is unbelievable." I was greeted by Seulgi Eonnie, my friend from the girl group Red Velvet as soon as I arrived at the bar.

It's been a long time since we last met.

"Is that how you greet your dongsaeng?  Tsk. Tsk." I said as I give her a quick hug.

"What do you expect? You stood up for me so many times. Don't expect there's a party poppers and red carpets that I'll prepare for you." She said while sulking.

"Haha. Sorry, we've been super busy this year."

"Are you guys just going to talk there? C'mon, sit here before someone else notice you. It's too early for people to have pictures with us."