I choose to Fall (Satzu)[COMPLETE]

Chapter 13: I'll bleed myself dry

When I got home I was too tired, too frustrated and too depressed. Everything seems to be wrong today.

I didn't meet any of my deadlines. I was scolded by JYP because we're not practicing as a whole Twice. It's like we're on the just taking it easy, said our PD-nim. Out of all the members, I the maknae gets to be scolded.

Plus the pain on my knee. Then I forgot to eat dinner because of how many works that we need to finish. 

I cussed a few times. It was almost 9:30pm when I got home.

I saw Mina at the kitchen. And I wonder why she's still up. Normally she's asleep by 9 or 9:30 well actually she's always asleep 'cause she's lazy bum. Haha

"Ugh. Could this day get any worse?!" I rant. I need someone to listen to all my rants tonight.

"Hey, bad day?" Mina standing by the fridge then handed me a glass of water.

"Sort of" I don't want her to be affected by the bad vibes all over me but I can't contain it. I think I might burst...

"Do you know that we need at least 8 hugs a day? To heal the feeling of loneliness, elevated mood and creat happiness... Here let me give you a lone one."

Then she pulled me close for a long, nice and caring hug.

I think if Sana is not on the picture. I'll be so damn in love with this girl right in front of me.

"There. Feel better?"

"I think I need a little bit more." then It was my turn to pull the smaller eonnie closer to me.

Then we heard a sobbing sound approaching right our direction. We're still entangled on a hug when Sana saw us.

Hey eyes. It's swollen.

"Uhh. Continue what you're doing. I'll just get a water." She said trying to hide her tears.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure." While taking a glass of water then quickly run up stairs. I was just staring at her direction when Mina brought me back to reality

"She's not okay, she's been crying since her and Dahyun got home. Then we heard them fought. We didn't want to eavesdrop but they're too loud."

I shrugged then drink another glass of water. I don't want top get involved so I didn't react at all.

"Hey, are you even listening? I said Sana is not okay."

"Yes Minari, I heard you the first time."

"Then why are you acting like you didn't? Your bestfriend is crying. She's hurt." Then she slapped my arm.

"Ouch. Yeah I know. What do you want me to do then?"

"Atleast talk to her, Tzu. She's only listening to you and you're the only one who can make her feel well."

"I'll pass. This is their first fight. Let them fix it on their own."

"Seriously?! Tzuyu! Get your ass up stairs and talk to her. She's at your room tonight."

"Can I be selfish for tonight Mina? I'm tired and can you hear yourself? You want me to mend her heart because of her fight with Dahyun. When she's the one who breaks mine?"

"Tzuyu."

I heaved a sigh. I know it shouldn't be about me. It should be about Sana's pain but I really just want to pass from any heartache tonight. I've had enough to last me a lifetime. 

"Tzuyu, I know that these past weeks days you're struggling from her." Said Mina then give me understanding look.

"You went out with her and Dahyun. You're trying to bond with the two of them. Me, Chaeng and Jeongyeon eonnie are so proud of what you're trying to do."

"But we also know that you're doing that because you feel the need to move on. But you can't just turn your back from a friend."

"I already know you, Tzuyu. You're trying to stop yourself but I can clearly see in your eyes even when you already saw Sana is crying that you want to go near her and asked why she's crying, because I know that you don't like her seeing her hurting."

"So please drop the tough act and talk to your bestfriend."

She's right, I've been playing a tough role acting like I'm not hurt, like I didn't just get my heart broken, that I'm okay and moving on. But I'm really struggling because...

One, I'm not great at acting. Two, I know that even though how hard I tried, I can't just move on from her. I've been trying but I fucking fail all the time.

I remembered what I said at the rooftop back then... "I'll leave her."

I mean it but I really didn't do it even though how hard I try. The only thing that I left on that night is the thought the she'll love me too someday.

Then I let out a bitter laugh and raised my hands to surrender.

"Fine. I'll see what I can do. But, if I am the one who ends up getting hurt tonight. It's your fault, penguin."

I left Mina in the kitchen and went straight to our room...

Before I can enter, I can still hear Sana sobbing. But she's trying to lower the sound of her cry. I just heaved a sigh before going inside of our room.

"Sana, for you, I'll bleed myself dry." I whispered to myself.

I went closer to her then I held her hand and pulled her out of our bed.

"Come with me"