Swinging Feelings// A Tyrus Fanfic

~Chapter 1~

muffins and boys

      Cyrus Goodman was walking over to school, obviously in a terrible mood. He was confused once again about his feelings for his girlfriend Iris, and his crush Jonah Beck. Honestly, Cyrus was torn between being who he is and being the guy everyone wants him to be. He told his parents about Iris, and they thought some sort of bullshit like 'Oh yes! our baby is going to get married next time we see this'

      But that's the problem, he doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with Iris, or with any girl to be exact. Sometimes, he would just write down everything he felt to try and avoid having a full mental breakdown of some sorts. But all he really wanted was to be seen the same as everyone else, even if he does like boys. Especially his best friends. Of course, the relationship between him and Iris wasn't serious or sexual in that matter. Their relationship was just like a passer by, on moment it's there the next it's gone. Just like the chemistry between them breaks and 'comes back' which is usually Iris trying to act like anything is actually working.

But it's all a web of lies that connect to Cyrus. The biggest one being, avoiding telling his best friend Andi, who is Jonah's girlfriend.

How he feels about Jonah, and boys.

Cyrus's POV

   ring ring!

"Finally" I muttered to myself, I stood up from my seat in class, ignoring what the teacher is yelling about as per usual since I just want to go eat.

Plus, today is taco tuesday the best tuesday of the month, Buffy said she was going to save me a spot in the lunch line, so I tried to run down the halls without getting in trouble, trying to keep a reputation you know? I've never gotten in trouble once by the teacher. Okay — maybe once in second grade when I said 'bathroom words' too much. I'm not proud of that!

Buffy and I have been friends since kindergarten. She's very competitive at sports, basketball to be exact, she loves basketball. There's this one boy who she always complains about. He's, kinda scary— not to be rude or anything but he is captain. His name is TJ Kippen, his friends sometimes laugh or mock me, but it was never him. They were kinda cute, the one with blonde hair who called me faggot for staring at him, even though I really wasn't! — is kinda dreamy.

I make a sharp turn into the cafeteria, noticing Buffy waving me over. I sat down in my saved seat and quickly knew what the conversation of the day was gonna be about "TJ is such a dickhead!" Buffy complained, as usual I just sat back and ate my tacos not even paying attention to the topic, since I obviously didn't need to hear this again. She went off rambling about how he was playing at practice, before one thing she said caught me off guard. "I even have to tutor him! He's a dumbass little bitc- SHIT! He's coming over!"

Right then and there, as the whole atmosphere of the lunch room went from bright, shiny and colorful. To dark, quiet, and volcanic as a guy with slicked back dirty blonde hair, grey and black sweatshirt, and the greyest eyes you've ever seen entered the room and walked towards our table. Buffy rolled her eyes and turned to him without any care, he honestly looked like JD from Heathers. Which means — Fuck he's hot! I almost choked on my taco and looked away, it felt as if even if I took one glance at him I'd be dead. The air was so thick I could barely breathe.

It feels like Twilight all over again, girl meets a vampire, feels cold around him, and then he kills her. In this case, I'm the girl.

"I can't believe I got stuck with a bitch like you to tutor me" TJ says, breaking all the silence and tension in the situation. I finally decide to look up, since he probably doesn't give two cares in the world that I'm here.

"Look in a fucking mirror TJ, see who's the bitch" Buffy fired back in an irritated tone. TJ was obviously taken back by that, but he had to keep his 'bad boy stance' - which kinda made me laugh.

TJ then glanced over at me, noticing that I was taking his presence as a joke, shit!  "Oh, you think that's funny?!" he shouted, my immediate instinct was to look away, hug myself a little and shake my head no. "Um.. of course not? I'm sorry if I offended you sir- I mean TJ!" Yeah great job Cyrus — SIR. That sounds like some sort of — WEIRD KINK!

TJ glanced over at Buffy then back at me "Driscoll, control your little bitchy friend who thinks everything thrown at him is a fucking joke" He told Buffy, causing her to stand up. "Listen, I'm not gonna help your dumbass with math if you say shit like THAT to my friends. And guess what? Get him-" She then looked around at lunch line of kids and noticed the muffin platter filled with chocolate, chocolate chip muffins "A chocolate, chocolate chip muffin" She finished saying, yes of course Buffy turn the attention back to me. I gulped and wiped my hands on my jeans — why am I so nervous?!

"You're telling me, you can't get a muffin on your own?" TJ asks, his tone almost changing a little. Great, now I have to make eye contact. I slowly look up at his grey eyes, again that can literally kill. "I can't.. I mean I could but everyone is going to well- yell at me- so.. no?" I answer like an idiot, my face turning red from immediate embarrassment

TJ scoffed at my response as he swiftly stood me up from my seat and placed his left hand on my shoulder "Walk up to the muffin, and you already own it" I almost completely ignore his advice, his hand is on MY shoulder! I breathe in and slowly look up a bit. "Okay, okay I can do this-"

The muffin is right there, I started walking up to it but it almost seems like it's getting further away. Why the hell am I sweating — it's just a muffin, but I can almost feel TJ's eyes looking up and down at me. I look around and laugh awkwardly, "I'm just... gonna—"

Kids started to yell at me as I reached for the muffin, I automatically knew I was gonna be hated for the rest of my life for this— I'm going to get bullied no one's gonna like me I just want to die in my own shame I knew this wasn't going to work why did I listen to him or Buffy! Shit. I start walking away from the muffin, and I start to keep close to myself and frown I just want to break down and cry-

"HEY! He's with me" TJ shouted as the whole lunch room went silent...completely silent. This is honestly why I would choose muffins over boys. My heart was beating out of my chest as I saw TJ walking over to me, my eyes follow him and he nods towards the muffin, signaling me to get it. I look over and slowly grab it, looking at everyone and laughing awkwardly. Sure, I have the muffin, but I can't believe — that just happened.

I feel like TJ just cut off my oxygen tank, "you're gonna taste so delicious-" I mutter to myself like an idiot, I take a bite of the muffin. From the corner of my eye, I see TJ smiling down at me. That's nice, he thinks he did something nice for me...

...HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHY DID I SAY THAT LIKE — THAT! HE PROBABLY THOUGHT SOMETHING ELSE THAT'S WHY HE'S SMILING SHENSHSNNSNS

My brain literally explodes, I choke a little on the muffin and take it away from my mouth. TJ finally looks away and stops smiling after what felt like forever. "See you after class Buffy" TJ says, causing Buffy to scoff and roll her eyes.

TJ walks away swiftly, making me feel now stared at again. "You see, TJ's a dick" Buffy says in annoyance, crossing her arms and watching him walk away. I stare down at the muffin in my hands and smile a little.

"Maybe, not as much as you think."

———