Over the past couple of days I've come to realise that life is an unpredictable journey that is more than happy to plunge people into the depths of hell. Despite the situation seeming somewhat hopefully at times, there is never an ounce of hope that can let you escape these fires. I wish people understood the pain that not only I'm experiencing but those around me are. I have never felt like a thousand knives were stabbing me in the heart until I saw my mother's face today. What a messed up world this planet is. You know what makes it worse? I don't want to complain for attention or pity from people who probably couldn't care less but the thing I need most right now is a hug and for someone to tell me that everything is going to be okay, even though I know it's not. I'm fighting my own battles but Jesus, this one makes mine seem infinitesimally smaller.
My faith in God is being tested each and every day and the only thing I want to do is to show my pain, but I can't. The strength that keeps a smile on my face is the strength I want those around me to mirror in this tough situation. I want those people to know that I'm not there for them, even though I'll never understand what they're experiencing.
Why do terrible things happen to great people? I'll never understand. I just hope that the plan that God has is the right one and that things end up working out even though we are all stuck in this hole darkened by the work of the devil. I've never felt so heartbroken in my life
