To Dear You,
I hate you so much because you make me love you. No matter what seems to happen, I can't get over you. Whenever I listen to a love song, you are the first person that comes to my mind. I can't conjure up the courage to tell you though because I'm not able to handle the rejection. I lie to myself saying that I'm not in love with you just so I can handle the rejection when I find out that you don't love me back.
Does it mean nothing to you that you are my last thought at night and my first thought in the morning? Does it mean nothing to you that all I wait for is a text or call from you and on the rare occasion that I receive one, it makes my day? It obviously doesn't mean a thing though because you couldn't care less.
You make me do stupid things that I am embarrassed about but I never tell you these things because you will laugh at me, tell me that it's stupid and think I'm pathetic. You know what, I'm sorry that I've caught a little disease called love. It gives me stupid symptoms when I get butterflies in my stomach, I can't put words together, I forget my name and I get sweaty palms when I'm near you. The only bad thing about this stupid disease is that I can't get rid of it. It will always be there in my life and you will never know about it.
The thing is, I love you. I'm in true, mad, deep love with you. It's hard to say that this is the first time I have ever admitted that to myself. I don't think you understand how much you really mean to me. I might even love you as much as I love Harry Styles and that's a hard thing to do. I want to be with you every second of the day because I love being in your presence. I just wish that you wanted the same with me.
I know that you will never read this, and I never intend for you to but I want you to. There is a little voice inside me that is hopeful that you will read this. Maybe it will change your mind about everything, maybe you will realise your secret love for me but then again there is a big chance that you won't. You will probably treat this letter like my heart and just play with it until it's broken into millions of small pieces. I want to end this with song lyrics that mean a lot to me though
...Where were you when everything was falling apart? All my days spent by the telephone that never rang and all I needed was a call that never came...
Sincerely yours, Me
