JaidenAnimation x Fem!Reader

Jaiden x Reader: Insecure

Hideous! Ugly! Weirdo! Dumbass!

I cried to myself in bed at 1:30 in the morning as I hear insults my peers say to me at school everyday. I feel my tears rolling down my face and try to think why. Why would they say those mean things to me? Why are they like this? Why can't they just leave me alone?!?!

I was insecure from my appearance to my personality. I always had a weird body shape and my personality seem boring compared to my classmates.  I hated myself and asked whoever up there why they made me like this.

This kept doing on until college,  I decided that I wanted to be more confident in myself. I cut down the junk food I've been eating, worked out a bit, and focus more on my schoolwork. By the end of freshman semester, I seen a change in myself. And by graduation, I was the best version of myself.

Shortly afterward, my friend invited me to go to Vidcon. I decided to come along since I didn't have anything else to do. The first days was fun and exciting. On the fifth day, she wanted to go to a panel alone, so I took the time to explore. As I was looking at some cosplay, I bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't seeing where I was going," I apologize. "It's alright," She answer "I wasn't looking either." I helped her get up and I was awe at how pretty she was. I look at her name tag and see that she was a Youtuber. "So, I'm guessing you're a Youtuber?" She question me until she looked at her shirt,"Yeah, I'm an animator." "That's actually pretty cool, I'm Y/n," I introduced myself. "Jaiden, it's nice to meet you."

If you told me that Jaiden was going to be my wife that day, I would've laughed at you. Fast forward 5 years later, I was married to her and we can finally claim each other as our wife. I never really talk to her about my insecurities because  I believed that was the past and that where it stays at. I had the perfect body, perfect wife, perfect house, and soon a perfect child.

A year later, Jaiden and I discussed about having a sperm donation for us. I was okay with the idea. Jaiden offer to be the first to carry, but the doctors said that she'll need to gain more weight until she could conceive and it could be a while. Desperate, I took the offer and I was the average weight to conceive.  Two weeks later, the donation worked and I was pregnant.

We were excited about our new addition to the family. Jaiden thought of baby names, colors for the rooms, and toys. I was excited too, but nervous because I see women who had perfect bodies and after pregnancy it wasn't the same. I was scared that if I lost the body, then I'll loose my image, my life, and most importantly my wife.

I took up yoga and ate healthy during my pregnancy, it was tiring but I would do anything to stay fit. My wife was concern. She would say, "Calm down love. Don't work yourself too hard." I know she trying to help me, but this is important to me.

Our baby boy/girl enter the world healthy. S/he look like of Jaiden and I had a child together. Although the pregnancy gave us the gift of life, the aftermath  didn't gave my body back.

Stretchmarks, belly fat, cellulite, and love handle was all I could see in the mirror. I don't see that once perfect girl from a year ago. I hid my body in baggy clothes and no one  seem to care say anything since they figure that I was exchausted from motherhood( which I was).

Whenever I took the shirt off, I just can't bear the sight of me and think of the girl from high school and insult the bullies had told me.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Y/n, is everything fine in there?" Jaiden asked. I noticed that I was on the ground crying. I pick myself up. "Yeah I'm fine." I ran the shower "Just getting ready for my shower," I lied.  "Okay, I put B/n down to bed and I finish with animation early, so I figure let have a movie night." I smile at the idea. "That sounds fun." "Great! I just order takeout so hurry up in there. I have baby vomit all over me." I laugh and went into the shower.

I got out of the shower and realized that my pjs wasn't in the bathroom. I sigh in annoyance and went outside to change. I came into the bedroom and slip on some shorts and a big t-shirt. I look at myself and sigh in relief. "At least she won't be disgusted at me." 

I sat down on the couch and picked out a movie for us to watch on Netflix. Jaiden walk in and sit down. "Picked out a movie for us?" I nodded my head. I selected it and cuddle with Jaiden. About halfway into the movie, Jaiden kissed my neck and made her way to my mouth.

I was turned on and surprise since it been a while since we did anything sexual. It didn't take long for me to straddle her while we're kissing. Jaiden soon lift my t-shirt and that's when I automatically stop. I grabbed her wrist before it could go any farther. "Um, how about we stop for tonight," I asked "It's getting late and who know when B/n might wake up."

"We'll be fine love. I gave B/n a warm bottle of milk and a nice bath so s/he'd give us at least 4 hours." Jaiden smirk at me. "I don't care, I want to stop." I got off her lap and could tell she was not happy about it. "Why you always like this?!" "Like what?" "Ever since the pregnancy, thing haven't been the same for us," She complained.

"Oh you mean sex?! Well I'm sorry I don't wanna have sex at the moment," I snapped back. "Can you explain why at least?" At that moment I got upset. "Why I have to give you a reason?!"I got up and walked towards the bedroom. I heard Jaiden following behind me. "Okay I got a better question, when was the last time I saw you nude?" That question paused me. It's been five months since she saw me nude.

"..I-I-I don't know. About a month ago," I lied. "No it haven't because I would've remembered." I felt my face heated up from embarrassment. "Why is this related to anything we're talking about," I asked. "Take off your shirt." Jaiden demand. "What?!" " Take. Off. Your. Shirt." I shake my head,"I don't want to." "Do it and I'll drop this argument." I wanted all this yelling to end so I I did what she wanted.

It reveals stretchmarks and belly fat. I covered my breast with my arm. "Move your arm." She ordered.I did so and was at the verge of tears. I felt exposed at that moment and could think of the insults she's about to say. Jaiden notice and walked closer to me.

"Now you're happy," I yelled, tears started coming out. "I hope you enjoy this-" "disgusted body." Jaiden completed my sentence. "Didn't think I notice when something wrong with you?"

I stood there while tears come down my fat, s/c face. My head shook no to Jaiden's question. She comes closer towards me and lead me to a mirror.

"First of all why would you think I'd hate the body that created life for us?!" She held me with comfort. "I love your curves and stomach. Not to mention your stretch marks are tattoos that reminds you that you carried a little you inside for 9 months. I love everything about you and your body isn't gonna be the reason I'll stop loving. I love you Y/n and you're always beautiful inside and out."

I started to teary eyes at what she said. It helped me know that she'll always love me no matter what. I whisper,"Thank you," towards her and hugged her until we went to bed. 

No, I didn't automatically gained confidence in myself that night, but it gave me a boost to start. Hopefully, I'll be as confident as I was before and maybe even more.

That's it folks. I hope you enjoy this one shot and I'll see you later bye💕