Band Imagines

Matthew "Matty" Healy - Everything**

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Matthew "Matty" Healy

Request: Nope || I just really needed this right now, so I wrote it.

Warning(s): SFW || cursing, emotional breakdown and mention of panic attack, mention of alcoholism.

Okay, so lately I've been really inactive - as I'm sure you know - and I've been suffering for a lot of reasons that I really don't want to get into, so firstly I wanna thank you for all sticking by me for so long while I've been away. Your constant support means more than the world to me. That being said, writing has always been a semi-healthy coping mechanism for me, so I'm gonna write this one to help myself. I'll get back to writing requests soon, I promise. There are only a few left in my inbox before I will open them up again, so it won't be too long. In fact, after I post this one, I'll start working on the next one - I promise. But right now, I need to write with no script. No things that I have to include due to it being a request. I just need to write what I'm feeling and I need to get it off my chest, and help myself, or I'll never feel any better. So this one, I'm not writing for anyone. This one I'm writing for myself. That and I absolutely adore Matty, and there really aren't as many imagines for him as I thought there would be. With all that said, I hope you enjoy.

Sliding down the wall dramatically like in a movie was the only thing you could do as the tears poured from your eyes, and all breaths came out as desperate gasps for air. So you did it. The red wine on the floor was seeping into the light wash denim of your jeans, but you really couldn't fucking care less. To be honest, things weren't even as bad as they seemed. Or maybe they just didn't seem as bad as they actually were? Yeah, that's it. Things were fucking awful, but they didn't seem like it. At least, not to you. At first, they didn't seem like everything was falling apart, but it was.

It had never felt like this before. It had never felt like the entire world was falling apart, or like everyone in town was standing on your chest, or like you were alone and no matter how loudly you screamed - no one could hear you, or like you were drowning even though there was no water. It had never felt like this. Not until now anyway.

Normally, when you had a bad day, a glass of red wine and a candle lit bubble bath was enough to wash it away and make you feel better. But today it wasn't working.

Today you had woken up, twenty five minutes late. And even though you were rushing to get to work on time by skipping any kind of breakfast, you still ended up leaving five minutes late, causing you to be twenty minutes late to work, due to traffic that normally you wouldn't have been caught in. Once you arrived at work, your boss came to you - and you thought you would be yelled at, but she was very understanding of your predicament. However that small light was quickly dimmed when she announced that she needed you to run about fifteen errands for work, which would put you behind in your work. However, being this was your higher up, you couldn't deny. So you did it. Due to skipping breakfast, you were a bit cranky and hungry. Once you got back, and did as much work as you possibly could in your day, you planned on staying late to get a bit caught up, but there was construction going on in the building, and no one was allowed to stay longer than their normal shift. So you would have to come in early the next morning. Sighing as you settled the plan, you went on your lunch break, and remembered that you were rushing, and you completely forgot to pack a lunch. Heading to the cafeteria, you bought a sandwich, bag of chips, and a water. The bread in your sandwich was stale and made your lunch taste like shit. After going back to your desk, you got about two thirds of your usual amount of work done, before you headed to leave. Your drive home was about the same as usual, which made you feel a little better. However, as soon as you walked in and expected to see or hear any sign of Matty being there to hug you and make you feel better, you noticed a pink sticky note stuck to the small decorative mirror that was hanging on the wall of the entrance way. "My texts weren't sending, so this was the closest I could get. Headed to George's for a bit, be back late. Love you, darling xx -M."So you decided to pour yourself a large glass of wine, and headed to the bathroom, planning on starting a bubble bath and sitting in there for a bit with the only light coming from a candle, and possibly leave your phone playing some soft music. But on your way out of the kitchen, you stubbed your toe and dropped your wine glass, breaking it and sending small shards and wine all over your hardwood hallway. That was when you sat down.