Gabriel's POV Season 2

S2 Chapter 10, Dramatic Path- Break up anniversary

A month has passed since I returned to work. Claire sent Lisa to collect her things, just a few records and some books. Honestly, I don't know why I didn't see it coming. We were together for so long and she didn't bring anything of her personal belongings to my place, and now that I am thinking of it she didn't bring anything at the office too. When she quitted her job, she just left. Maybe she doesn't want to get attached to anything, maybe she is afraid of commitments and that's why she doesn't want to return. But she took with her the one thing that she shouldn't take... my heart.
Emmanuella has also left. She decided to fight alone her problems. She just left a letter for me and Dom at the hospital and disappeared. I haven't heard from her since.
...Day by day I can feel my heart building up my defenses again. Loneliness and sadness fulfill the void that Claire left in my life. They say that only the first year after the break up is hard. The first time that you must face alone all the birthdays, anniversaries etc. Later you remember that the previous year you were also alone, so things can become only better. This time is approaching slowly. In few days it will be one year since we lost our baby, our relationship, our happiness. I don't know how this day will pass. I don't want to be alone, but Claire doesn't accept my calls, so I don't think I have another choice. Maybe I will spend all my day at work. It helps when I keep myself busy...
The day that I didn't want to face has come. I pretend that it is an ordinary day like the others. I follow my daily routine except that I stop to a church to pray for our baby before I go to work. Then I gather all my strength and I continue my day. Fortunately, no one remembers what happen one year ago or at least they don't mention anything. Late in the evening I finish my work and I am trying to find the strength to return home and face my living nightmare. My one year break up anniversary with Claire... My mother calls me and asks if I can take her exam results from the hospital. So, my «anniversary party» will have to wait...
Emmanuella's POV
I didn't want to destroy their lives once more. I had already done enough. It was time to leave. I knew they would try to stop me, so I left them a letter and I disappeared. I hope they managed to continue with their lives and find the happiness they deserve. For me it was a very difficult journey. I had a lot of surgeries the last year and a lot of hours of physiotherapy every day but at last I managed to walk again. At the moment, I live in New York and I am thinking of contact Gabriel, but I don't know how he would react. Today it will be a difficult day for him, I wish I could be with him, I wish I could take away all his pain, I wish I was the one who had to die and not his baby. That is what I am thinking every day and I can't forgive myself for what I have done. I destroyed everything...
I have just finished with my physiotherapy for today when I see a familiar face pass outside the door. My heart starts pounding like crazy. Is it really him?
I go outside to the direction that he went, and I see him standing in front of me, talking to a doctor. I quickly hide to the first corridor that I found. I don't want him to see me like this. I continue watching him from distance until he leaves. He looked so sad. I can't leave him alone today even if I am the last person that he wants to see. I grab my things and go home to change clothes and take a shower and then I take a taxi to his home.
I arrive outside of his apartment's door. I am standing outside for ten minutes not sure if I should knock or leave. I know he is inside and I can't hear anyone else, so I decide to knock and see what happens. Gabriel opens the door with a glass of whisky on one hand and a cigarette on the other. So now he smokes? He looks at me for a moment as if he doesn't believe what he sees.
«You? I thought I would never see you again! And you walk again? Come here»
He looks happy to see me, he hugs me and beckons me to go inside.
«I didn't know if you will want to see me after all that happened»
We sit next to each other on the sofa. I continue talking to him, but I don't think he is listening. He seems lost in his thoughts.
«Are you listening? »
«hmm? Yes, of course. Would you like something to drink? »
«no, thanks»
He grabs the bottle of whisky and serves himself another glass. Then he is looking at me, his glance is empty of life, I can see clearly the damage that I caused him. Why did I need to be so selfish? Why did I have to ruin his wedding, ... his life? Everything is my fault but still he accepted to see me. A knock at the door brings us back from our thoughts.
«I don't expect anyone. Please excuse me for a second»
He opens the door and we both freeze. It is Claire. She finally decided to appear, and she finds me here. Shit, I can feel it, this is not good at all.
They stare to each other for a moment. I can feel the tension between them. I can see the changes in Gabriel happen in front of my eyes. It is like his heart started beating again. His whole-body posture changed.
«Hey angel»
«... hey, I... I...»
«I am glad you came, I wish we could spend this day together»
He takes her in his arms and hug her with such intensity like his life was depending on it. My heart still pains so much when I see them together. For a moment it seems like they are going to be couple again but then she sees me and her expression changes.
«What is she doing here? »
«who? »
Great he totally forgot me. Of course, when it comes to her I don't exist for him.
«Oh, you mean Emmanuella? Nothing she just came by»
«really Gabriel? After all the pain that she caused us you chose to spend this day with her as if nothing has happened? I thought you would feel lonely and sad like me and I decided to come and have a new beginning together, but I see that you filled in every void that you had. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Please, feel free to continue whatever you were doing»
«Claire, stop»
He tries to catch her, but it is late, she has already left. He slams the door and comes to me while passes his hands through his hair.
«Gabriel I am so sorry, once more I am ruining everything»
He sits next to me, lets a little sigh to escape his lips and then turns and face me.
«Don't be. It is not your fault. It's hers»
«but...»
«she never trusted me. She has formed an image about me in her mind and she will never change it. She thinks that I am unfaithful and that I let my past interfere to our present. Whatever I do I won't be able to change her opinion so maybe it is better like this. It saves me time and effort. And you know what. I am tired of all this. Let's make her have right this time»
And with this he takes me in his arms and starts kissing me violently in the beginning, but more gently as the time passes. I know it is wrong. I know he is angry and he is doing it for all the wrong reasons, but I can't help it. I can't escape his embrace. I was waiting for this moment for so long and now I am at his mercy. Do whatever you wish with me my love, I was always yours and I will always be...
I wake up in the morning and feel exhausted. I smile as indecent thoughts of last night come to my mind. I forgot how wonderful it is to make love with Gabriel. But yesterday it was more like making war than love. I could see all his emotions struggle. His anger, his sadness, his loneliness, his disappointment, his love for Claire were fighting against his primitive instincts and his willing to move on with his life and forget all the things that hurt him. It drained all my energy, but it was worth it as I could be in his arms and feel him inside me after so many years. He has already woken up. He is getting ready for work. I can't understand how he feels. His face has no expression. I don't know if he regretted it or if he hates me. As our eyes meet he gives me a faint smile and he leaves...
I find myself alone all day in an empty apartment. I walk in every room, I touch and smell all his things just to feel him. I don't know if I should leave or not but my instinct tells me to run away from him... It is late at night and I decide to leave, maybe he regretted it and he doesn't want to return and face me. The moment I grab my bag Gabriel returns and finds me at the door.
«where to? »
He smiles and grabs me from my waist. I can smell whisky and female perfume.
«I am going»
«why? You can stay»
«I think you already have fun today, you don't need me»
«who said I am tired of having fun? » he says with a seductive smile and try to push me to the wall behind us.
«why you act like a jerk? »
«I am just letting out my real self. Is it like this how all of you think I really am? » he traces my cleavage with his fingers and I stop him even if his touch doesn't leave me indifferent.
«stop doing this to yourself»
«doing what? Having fun? Why? » he starts spreading kisses all over my neck
«stop, please stop»
«why? You don't like it? »
I push him with all my strength and I manage to free myself from him. I am losing my balance and collapse on the floor. Tears coming to my eyes. Gabriel seems to come to his senses and runs to me. He takes me in his arms and lifts me up. He places me on the coach.
«Please forgive me»
You are the one who must forgive me, my love.
«why you don't go and find her? She is the only one who can cure you»
«it is too late for that. I have already tried it, but she's gone»
«what you mean? »
«she left this morning»
«to where? »
«I don't know, but I can feel it. This time I lost her for good»
...days have passed since last time I spoke to him. I stayed in his apartment for few days, but I couldn't bear it. Day by day he was destroying himself. My heart arches seeing him like this, but I can't do anything to help him. I even tried to find Claire, but she is nowhere to be found. I wish I could turn back time and change everything that I 've done but I can't. Now my only goal is to find her. She is the only one who can save him.
Claire's POV
My whole world has collapsed once more. I needed to be with him this day. After all the messages that he sent me how could he do this to me? What the hell is she doing in his apartment on a night like this? Are they together? Why doesn't he run after me? I am staying all night watching his apartment across the street. She didn't leave. The light at the bedroom was turned on most of the night and I am staying here alone collapsing on the pavement. My tears become one with the rain. It is over. He decided to be with someone else. He doesn't care about me anymore. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. The sun light finds me still looking at his bedroom. The light was turned off two hours ago. I will wait until I show him one last time and then I will disappear from his life forever. After a while Gabriel shows up at the entrance. I slowly follow him to the parking lot. He approaches his car. He gently strokes the front window with his fingers at the place that I used to leave him short messages when it was dusted. I would love to leave you a message again baby, but the rain washed away all the dust as you washed away yesterday any last hope for us being together. He turns on the engine and fixes the mirror before he starts driving. For a second he realizes that he is being followed and stops. I quickly turn and start running away from him. He gets out of the car and calling my name, but I don't stop. I can't face him. I just want to be as far away from him as possible.