Alpha Mikael

I don't need more friends

you ask

if we can still be friends

i explain how a honeybee

does not dream of kissing

the mouth of a flower

and then settles for its leaves

- I don't need more friends

Rupi Kaur

the sun and her

You'll end up really disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.

Imagine finding out you were putting energy into something that didn't even need it. Like watering a flower that can survive without it.

I felt like I was the water and he was the flower. Growing under my love, but unaffected by it.

"I'm sorry, Isla." Were his words, but his eyes spoke something completely else. He was happy with the way things were going for him. He finally found the girl he was meant to be with for the rest of his life, and it isn't me. Not minding the promise we made to each other, he turned around-not one look over his shoulder. Leaving 5 years of love behind. At least, I believe it was love. Maybe he thought of it as a time-passing situation, waiting for something better to pass by.

The sound of my front door closing ringed through my ears, an agonizing yet so peaceful sound. The causer of my pain finally gone.

Sitting down on the sofa I let my face hang in my hands for a second. Flabbergasted with everything that just happened. I couldn't wrap my head around everything he said.

'I found her, Isla, I finally found her.'

In that moment I didn't know what he was talking about, but seeing that sparkle in his eyes. One I have never seen before, told me the whole story. I didn't even need to ask who or what. I already knew what was about to happen. Unfortunately that didn't make the blow to my heart any less crucial.

I didn't feel betrayed, I simply felt heartbroken. Completely gutted.

In the heat of some moments Caleb and I promised each other impossible things. Promises we couldn't possibly keep. I still remember the exact moment in which he whispered he would never leave me, right before he pulled me closer to his warm body and nuzzled his noise in my neck.

Of course that promise would be invalid the moment his or my mate would pass by. In this case, his passed by.

I have known Caleb for years now. He and I were both born in the same pack, raised as neighbours and grew up to become lovers. Not short-lived lovers. Not just a fling.

Now I wish we were that, short-lived lovers. Everything would be so much easier if that would be the case. I wouldn't have to remember and miss his whispers of sweet nothings in my ear-his murmurs of love.

'I'm sorry, Isla, but she's the one for me.' He had said, kissing my forehead one last time, leaving my lips with a burning ache for him to extinguish.

'I hope you understand.' Of course I understood. I didn't want to understand. Two completely different things, but still quite similar in my mind.

'Goodbye, Isla. I hope you'll find him. You deserve it, baby.' Hearing him say that was the last straw. This was the part that broke me. Not him wishing me luck to find my own mate, no. The part where he calls me baby. Something that seems so easy when he calls you that every day. But knowing it's the last time he'll say it like that to me. Knowing he'll be calling someone else that now. A simple nickname that means nothing until you hear it for the last time.

I always told him I didn't particularly like his choice of pet names. Right now all I wish for him to do is call me 'baby' a few more times. Too late for that.

My phone rings for the fourth time in 5 minutes. Not being bothered to pick up before, I gather myself together, take a deep breath and answer my phone.

"Hello, Isla speaking." I nearly break down when I hear my voice shake.

"Isla... oh baby." I immediately recognise my sisters voice. All my emotions wash over me and I completely break down.

"M-Mary." I sob uncontrollable.

I hear her soothing voice over the phone, but her words don't seem to hit home. I keep asking her why and she keeps shushing me, telling me she'll be there in a minute. Already on her way.

It seems to take hours before she unlocks the door and lets herself in. I hear the clicking of her heels on my wooden floor and not a second later I feel her arms wrapping around me, puling me as close as she can.

"You can hang up the phone now, sis." She slowly takes the phone from my hand and lays it on the table besides us, after hanging up.

"Oh baby, it's ok. You'll be ok." She whispers as she rocks me back and forth slightly.

"P-please. Don't call me that." I plead, feeling my heart ache every time she calls me that.

I find myself pathetic. That I need my little sister to rock me back and forth. To sooth my pain and hold me tightly in her arms. I never thought I'd be so weak. So heartbroken.

We sit there for quite some time, before I finally fall asleep. She got me to move up the stairs and crawl into my bed. She got in beside me and hugged me close to her body. It seemed weird to me that her warmth was so soothing to me at that moment. It was the first few seconds in hours that I didn't feel an agonizing pain burning in my chest.

Mary has always been there for me. We weren't super close, but always normal around each other. Not needing to catch up on each other every day. Or needing to gush about everything that has been happening in our lives. We simply sat next to each other, watching a movie or one of our favourite shows, while passing the bowl of popcorn to each other. It wasn't the tight sister relationship others had, but it's ours and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Especially right now, nothing seemed more soothing than my sister. I would probably think of this completely different in the morning. Feeling weird about sleeping in my sisters arms, but right now there wasn't anything I would rather do than pull her closer and whisper a soft 'thank you'.

"Always, sis." She whispered back.