Marked With Deception (ereri)

Chapter Fifteen

~Eren's POV~

Do you ever want to cry, but you don't have any tears left? Like you just space out feeling as your heart breaks into a million pieces and drifts away like ash in the wind? And you think, "Why me?"

The muffled music and the scent of weed didn't help the situation.

Some teenager just aren't meant for high school. Like the environment is too much and we'd rather do everything alone; study, test, and just do nothing.

My entire body sunk into the bed. Everything was the same since the last time I was here. His desk. His television. Nothing changed. And the last time I was here was when Levi fucked my ass until I couldn't breathe. Despite my anus being torn to shreds, it still felt good.

The single lamp that dimly lit the entire room stood proudly in the corner. It had a warm tone to it. It was a feeling similar to that raw scenery you get when you watch a sunset over ocean's horizon. So very warm.

Before I could even think of leaving this place, Hanji came in again. I didn't see him/her, but I could hear the rustling of her/his lab coat. I could tell that easily it was 'em.

Tilting my head back, I saw 'em holding a two red solos cups.

"This feels like a movie," I said wiping the leftover tears from my face. "With those cups."

They gave an honest laugh as they plopped their bum at the foot of the bed. "Ha. You're right."

Hanji didn't reply when I had poured my emotions all over them minutes before. He/she kinda left. I really don't mind though. In my opinion, it was better than awkwardly giving a half-hearted response like, "It'll be okay." Don't give me that shit when we both know it's not going to be okay.

"Sounded like you needed a drink," they said as they handed me the cup. "It's alcohol."

I thanked 'em before chugging it down. It was true. I did need it. Everything about this night has so far been terrible and the only person I could actually console in was this stranger I just met. Hanji let out a sigh before taking a sip of their own. Only a single sip though.

It was silent until they said, "So you still like him?"

I gave nothing, but the truth. "Yeah. I do."

They took another sip. It was kinda hard watching Hanji when I desperately wanted another drink too.

"Hanji," I said.

"Mhmm."

"Tell me. Are you a boy or a girl." I just wanted to strike up another conversation because the awkwardness was becoming fatal.

"If you really wanna know," they paused. "A girl."

I opened my mouth as if to say Ahh. I didn't know whether to be surprised or not. I was too drunk to even comprehend any answers. 

She took—which was now the third—sip of her drink. And yes, I was still counting.

She then handed me another one of those oval shaped white pills. It wasn't peer pressure or anything, I think she could just sense that I needed more to forget what had happened this night.

I thanked her a second time and grabbed the pill from her very moist palms.

I kinda stared at it for a bit with my eyes outlining the letters "XANAX" that was printed on it. Like it were screaming, "Are you really gonna swallow me?" I mean, I did have a choice, but I had no will to stop. I've broken too many promises and laws to even question this one.