A/N: I started this book a year or two years ,so some things or events might be old.Enjoy! Please comment :)
Dear Diary,
Why does doing something so bad feel so good once it's in your system ? I mean, I didn't mean to put it to my lips but I figured I should try something new and that my parents wouldn't find out ;It's not like they would care anyways because they do the same thing. But diary,it felt so nice to be relaxed and not worried about this cruel,twisted world. I know I'm only 15 and I should be focusing on school and my future but that night,I felt pretty damn good. Cindy and Jessica were doing it too,so I guess I shouldn't feel bad but something inside of me told me that it wasn't right ;Once the weed freed my mind ,I didn't give a damn whether it was right or wrong, I was in my own Dimension. Ever since that night , everyday I go behind a dumpster ,downtown,and let myself fall into the world Mary put me in. Diary I don't have a problem nor an addiction,not that I think. I can stop when I want to but just not anytime soon. When mom and dad fight everyday or when I'm having troubles with my friends or school,I just let my good friend Mary last name Jane take the wheel and let me tell you, she never crashes. My mom always questions me as soon as I come in the house saying "what is that smell?" Or "where have you been for the past couple of hours?" But I just let it go and walk in my room,excluding myself from her interrogation. I have a question diary, is it wrong to be in love with a drug? To let it just take over my body like a demon?To adore it more than my own family?To allow it to control my actions and decisions? Is it wrong? For me I think it's an necessity because if I don't have it everyday ,there's no me! Diary,I wish you were a person so you can understand what I'm talking about,feel the way I feel,and experience what has came to be.....My Life! I don't know why my friends bug me about it ; Cindy always says,"You're in too deep,try to slow down a bit." What is she talking about ?She used to be in my shoes until she wanted to change and become different....I don't like this side of her anymore. Even Jessica tries to convince to me that I have a problem and everytime I try and have her come with me she says," Sam, you can't keep doing this to yourself,you're changing into someone who you don't want to be.This is becoming a habit for you and it needs to stop." But she was the one always telling me how good it would make me feel basically convincing me! My friends are hypocrites and I don't think I can continue letting them try and take my bestfriend away.Mary is a true friend ,she doesn't try to put me down,she's always there when I need her and she comforts me. I haven't did homework in weeks maybe even months, I don't know.... Diary ,you're the only thing I write everyday because even though I have Mary,you always seem to be there for me as well. Ehh, I don't have much care in the world anymore. I just found out that Ebola is starting to come over to the U.S. , so what! I think everybody needs to calm down and take a trip down my lane because I'm not worried about it, fuck the world honestly. Now Diary , I must leave you for my ride is here but don't worry I'll be back.... Eventually.
