I think about you on rainy days when the clouds smother me and I’m too tired to stand up and shut my bedroom window. Days like these have been coming around more often, seeping through the cracks in my creaky floorboards and into the cold springs of my mattress, even when the sun is out. Maybe it’s because you’re not here to kiss my neck when I lose feeling in my fingers and toes.
I miss you. I miss your fingers on my knuckles and your mouth on my hipbones and your words inside my lungs. I miss breathing you in. I miss the way you used to say ‘I love you’ like it was the most important thing in the word and god, I wish I didn’t. I really wish I didn’t, because my insides are tearing themselves apart with every second you’re away from me and I fucking need you to fill me up again the way you used to on nights like these.
I need you to shut my bedroom window and fit me together until I’m the person you wanted me to be.
