Bandom Oneshots

The Poet and His Flowers 》 Peterick

Published: Dec 11, 2018

Pairing: Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz

Description: Hanahaki disease!AU. Falling in love is going to kill Pete, but he doesn't regret it.

---

The sun is in his smile, and it's blinding.

Pete frowned as he stared at his writing. It didn't fit his typical emotional writing. It sounded so dry, like an imitation of former words that had spilled out of him like wildfire.

He's just not in the mood anymore. Ever since he heard the news from the doctor, he had felt genuine terror towards what he had once held so dear. What was once beautiful held a certain horror.

And he's killing me.

---

Facing death is one of the hardest things in life. Knowing that his own love would be his demise made the situation almost unbareable. Coughing up bloody petals made him contemplate getting the expensive surgery, but facing the one he loved made him disregard the choice. He would rather have this love, have to face the petals flooding his lungs, rather than never love at all.

Does it hurt that he is alone in his infatuation? Yes.

The man he loves grabbed the notebook from his hands, reading over the new poem. He frowned.  "Why is all of your writing so sad?"

"Because life is sad," Pete replied, missing his warmth. If his writing made him feel down, he would stop writing. If he were to ever interfere with his happiness, he would do whatever he could to stop it.

"I've heard so," he sighed. "But I thought love isn't meant to be that way."

If only he could feel it. That was the worst part of this. Patrick could never understand how he felt, because he never felt that kind of love towards anyone. He could love Pete, but not in the way that he's so dependent on him and his love, not in the way Pete loves him.

Pete doesn't blame him for it. He knows that's just what makes Patrick himself. He understands when he can't make sense of his writing, because Patrick has never been in love and never will be.

He forgives him for being his doom, because, well, Patrick doesn't know any better. He doesn't know about the love Pete holds for him.

"Sometimes, love is the worst thing to happen to someone. Sometimes, it's not so happy."

"I hope you find someone that makes you feel love and joy," Patrick stated forcefully.

And Pete wants to cry, because Patrick does make him happy. Despite all of his sadness about how this will all end, he wouldn't change anything for the world. Loving Patrick was never a mistake. He doesn't want him to ever think that.

"But I do feel all those things," Pete replied. Patrick tilted his head, confusion apparent in his eyes. "It's the most exquisite torture."

Patrick smiled. Pete felt more petals coming up, instinctively coughing into his elbow. When he pulled away and looked at the petals, more blood coated them than usual.

He had a feeling it meant his life would end soon.

---

I wouldn't have stayed away even if I knew of the bite of love.

Your love hurts in the best way.

---

The decline in his health had eventually become more apparent. Patrick would ask him about it, but he was terrified that if he told him, the rejection would give him the flowers he would choke on.

It's not only for selfish reasons that he chooses to hide it from Patrick. He is scared to see the horror on his face, to see him pale. He never wants Patrick to blame himself.

He coughs more and more, more flowers falling from his mouth. His lungs are about to burst. He can feel the overflow of flowers, can feel death in his throat, while he keeps writing with his ballpoint pen.

With this, I pass on. The flowers on my lips only accentuate my smile: know that love is painful, but oh too real.

---

His notebook is found in his possessions after his death. The notebook consists of short passages detailing his experiences with love and his incoming death. On a page, there's even a pressed bloody rose petal.

The passages get published into a book entitled "Bloody Petals and Love (A Story of Hanahaki Disease)"

After finding out about it, Patrick is shocked. At first, he's also kind of horrified that they would sensationalize his story, when Pete had never shown that he wanted it out there. He later understands this, because the world will take whatever it can get involving the disease.

Hanahaki Disease is really rare, so much so that it's incredible that there's even a cure for it. The fact that Pete deliberately avoided treatment makes the story so interesting. To Patrick, it's not just some story he heard.

It's Pete's life, and as Patrick reflected on it, his own too. Because he's so oblivious concerning the idea of love, it takes him a while to realize that Pete was in love with him.

And then he spirals into some sort of depression, because he is again reminded of his own faults. If he could love Pete, or if he could love at all, then Pete could still be alive. Pete could be sitting next to him on the sofa right now, making fun of J.D. from Heathers being a complete edgelord. He could be there cackling loudly at dumb moments, or throwing popcorn at the screen.

His grief for Pete transcends any other grief he's ever experienced. He missed him in a way he never had missed anyone before. It was different, new, and so light.

The guilt he felt was immeasureable. He wished he could change things, could've realized what was going on. But Pete had been secretive for his benefit, but it didn't work.

The guilt and grief makes him come to a shocking realization. One night, as he's alone in bed, he feels the sudden urge to have a coughing fit. It felt similar to that feeling when you know you're about to throw up.

He stumbled into his bathroom, and went down onto his knees. As soon as his face was by the toilet, he coughed and coughed. It came out, giving him a short moment of relief.

He stared into the toilet to see what he coughed up, and the sight was the biggest shock of his life, even more so than the news of Pete's death.

It was a bloody, lilac petal.