Insatiable

Fifteen

Just being around Shawn makes me feel alive. We spend every single day sneaking in kisses and steamy makeout sessions behind the bleachers before practice or in the locker room after weight lifting or in the hall when no one is around. I feel so drawn to him and with only a day until the formal, I am shaking with nerves. Isaac still doesn't know about the sneaking around to see each other and he would shit if he knew about all the nights I climbed out my window to spend with Shawn. His tattoos are accompanied by claw marks and fingernail imprints. It's like our bodies are made for each other and I can't help how I feel when he touches me. I'm in love with the feeling and maybe it's not just the feeling. We spend plenty of our time just talking and cuddling and I know so much about him. He loves guitar and he has such an amazing singing voice and he wants to be famous. He can do it. He has the skills. We met Niall, Dylan, and Abby in his basement one night and the five of us just laughed and talked and played truth or dare. Now that was fun. Of course, everyone wanted to see how far Shawn and I would go so it was mostly focused on us. We finished in his bedroom before he dropped me off just a little bit before my house so that his motorcycle wouldn't wake up my family. Maybe I love Shawn. It seems like no matter how much we do it, I am insatiable. Maybe it's his body or his kiss or maybe it's just him but I can't stop needing him. His lips are addictive and sweet. They know just where to kiss that will drive me wild. And his hands are so strong and they squeeze and grab my body and they drag me further into him. But his words are what always gets me. I can't get away from him because I will miss his voice and the stories he tells.  I'll miss the way he makes me feel when he says I'm beautiful or when he reminds me to eat. He cares about me.

"Hey, spaz. I'm talking to you." Isaac snaps at me as I stare into space.

"Sorry, what?" I look at him dumbly.

"I asked if you are still fucking with Mendes?"

"Why would you think that?" I ask.

"I don't know. It was stupid." He shrugs. I smirk. If only he knew. I actually do eat breakfast with Isaac with a little text from Shawn telling me to. Camila is thrilled about what Shawn and I are doing but Isaac remains clueless. So does the squad. It makes me feel a little guilty that Abby got caught and I haven't but it was her own fault and her own choice.  I am making the same choice but not as blindly. 

"Are you excited for the formal tomorrow?" Shawn asks me as I take my rightful seat next to him in Anatomy.

"I am. What about you? Finally found a gold tux?" I joke.

"Actually, I think you'll like my tux. We won't get to dance in it but we'll have fun taking it off." He winks and my mouth waters at the thought.

"Can't wait. You might get a little view at the dance though. There's a slit in my dress all the way up to my hip." I use my fingers to walk up his leg to accentuate each word and he grins.

"Here's the ticket I bought you." He hands me the little black card between his fingers.

"You didn't have to. I won't even get to dance with you." I protest.

"We can dance by ourselves later. It's ok. I understand." He gives me a reassuring smile and I sigh. He shouldn't have to understand. We talk all of Anatomy and he even walks me to lunch when the hallways are clear. Lunch is a mess of the girls discussing what they are going to wear and planning joint mani-pedis. I can paint my own nails just fine. From across the lunchroom outside, I see Shawn's group leaned against the window talking. Since they are outside, they aren't breaking the territory rule but I wish they were. I wish they were in here and I wish I could get up and go talk to them. Dylan lights up a cigarette and shares it with Abby and I am thankful Shawn doesn't smoke. The smell always gets me.