Heartstar's rise : Book Two

Ch. 31

Heartstorm spotted the hill up ahead. The night air was cool and a warm breeze blew. Owls hooted and crickets chirped. Heartstorm closed his eyes and let the breeze ruffle his fur gentle. He spotted a shape sitting at the top of the hill and his heart fluttered. He sped up and climbed the hill swiftly. He joined the silver she-cat and beamed brightly at her. Silverdrop returned the smile. They sat next to each other, gazing down the hill, listening to the song of the night. 

                   "Thanks for er..., coming," said Heartstorm finally and very awkwardly. 

                   "I wouldn't miss it, for anything," replied Silverdrop. Heartstorm grinned happily then cleared his throat. 

                    "I wouldn't have..., er, either," he agreed awkwardly. He punched himself inwardly. He was being so awkward, he needed to get a grip of himself. 

                     "You're cute when you're nervous," said Silverdrop. Heartstorm didn't know whether to be happy or embarrassed. "Relax. You don't need to be nervous." Heartstorm frowned and tried to relax but his brain was reeling, trying to find a funny joke or something interesting to tell Silverdrop. Silverdrop noticed Heartstorm's look of concentration. She ran her tail softly down his back, sending shivers down his spine. But it was a warm feeling. Heartstorm found himself relaxing and without even thinking about it, he twirled his tail around Silverdrop's and slid closer to her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he felt like he could stay like this forever. This was the best place to be. 

                       "Each of those stars, is a warrior from StarClan," whispered Silverdrop, gazing at the shining night sky. Heartstorm looked at all the stars and thought about Brightheart.., then Stormpelt. He flinched at the thought of his father. 

                       "My ma used to tell me that when she's gone, she'll still watch over me, from StarClan. She said she'd still be able to talk to me," continued Silverdrop softly. "But all I get are nightmares. And I never see her." Heartstorm frowned. Silverdrop had never talked about her family.  

                        "But she's still watching over you," said Heartstorm. "From StarClan." Silverdrop shook her head sadly. 

                         "She never comes to see me. Not even in my dreams...," said Silverdrop. 

                         "That doesn't mean she's not up there, watching you. That doesn't mean she's not proud of you," Heartstorm said. 

                         "But why doesn't she chose to see me?" whimpered Silverdrop. Heartstorm had never seen her look scared. He pressed himself closer to her. 

                         "She promised you she'd watch over you from StarClan," said Heartstorm firmly. "Do you trust her?"

                          "Of course but..," Silverdrop trailed off. 

                           "Then you must trust her enough to believe her. She's up there, watching us as we speak," said Heartstorm, gazing at the sky full of stars. 

                           "Thanks," murmured Silverdrop. "Her name was Pebblespot." Silverdrop choked on her words. Heartstorm let her take some time to breath properly. "We were really close. I had two siblings. Goosekit, my brother and Spottedkit, my sister. We were even closer. It was my father's fault, T-t-hunders-spark. When they were gone..., Pebblespot got more protective. She didn't even let me near her new mate.., Goldenmist." Silverdrop lapsed into silence. Heartstorm didn't understand half of Silverdrop's story but he understood enough to know her childhood had been painful. He didn't dare ask questions. He knew it wasn't the right moment. She just needed his comfort. He gave her an affectionate lick on the cheek and leaned his head against hers. They rested this way, watching the world below. Feeling the grass dancing around them. Listening to the crickets and owls. 

                              "Brightheart died," Heartstorm said suddenly, "when I was born." Silverdrop looked up at him, her eyes brimmed with tears. "I never knew her. But I knew she was a great cat. And I loved her. Stormpelt took good care of me....., and even reluctantly, I've got to admit, so did Sandwing. She wasn't a mother, but she made sure I survived. Stormpelt was the best father I could have had. Him leaving, him dying, was the worst feeling I had in my life." 

                                "You never seem sad," whispered Silverdrop. "You hide your sadness well." 

                               "So do you," whispered Heartstorm. "But sometimes, you've got to let it out. And most of the time, I don't think about it. There's nothing worth being sad over. Not even Stormpelt anymore." Silverdrop nodded. 

                               "Are you mad at him?" she asked Heartstorm. Heartstorm pondered. He was sad he had been betrayed. Sad that his own father, the one he had looked up to, loved, had turned his back on him. But he still had Brightheart and she was enough. 

                                "Yes," admitted Heartstorm. "And sad and hurt. And hopeful. Hopeful that it might not be real, that he might still be the father he used to be to me. But being hopeful for something I know is real will just tear me apart more. There's no chance, between me and him." 

                              "He is still the cat you knew," said Silverdrop suddenly. "But you just didn't know all of him. Sometimes, cats chose to hid a part of themselves." Heartstorm knew Silverdrop was thinking about another cat. He felt a twinge of jealousy. 

                            "It was the same with Thunderspark," Silverdrop said, she spat out the name as if it was dirt and Heartstorm almost jumped with surprise. "I thought I knew all of him, I was wrong. I only knew one side of him." Heartstorm's jealousy evaporated on the spot. He wanted to ask more about Thunderspark but thought better not to. 

                           "It's better not to dwell on the past," sighed Heartstorm. "And focus on the present." 

                          "And the future," added Silverdrop. "But the present is nice too." Heartstorm smiled blissfully. He loved being there, just talking with Silverdrop. He didn't think about how it would be if Eelfrost or Deerflame had been with him, just being with Silverdrop was enough. 

                          "Yeah, and appreciate what I've got..., right now," Heartstorm said. He had meant Silverdrop. Silverdrop didn't say anything. "I mean you." Silverdrop looked up at Heartstorm and smiled. 

                          "I mean I don't know how you feel but everytime I see you," Heartstorm continued, feeling braver. "I want to smile. And just thinking about you makes my day better. And your eyes, your eyes are the most beautiful things I've seen in the world. It's like gazing into a beautiful swirl of warmth and kindness and happiness and of..., you." Silverdrop was silent. Heartstorm hoped he had said the right thing. Then she nuzzled closer to him which was enough of a reply. He cuddled closer to her. There was no better place in the world.