Blinded in Myself

28

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Please play the song, it's Augustana - Boston. Hope you enjoy the chapter...

*SIA's POV*

I went home, not actually my home, but straight to the boy next door, and knocked on the door. I don't know why I'm here, maybe because of that liquor, but I just want to make everything better, starting with Kyle.

Jasper opened the door. "Ms. Sia, what a lovely night. Can I help you?"

"Uhm--" I paused. "Is Kyle home?"

"Sir Kyle isn't home yet, Ms. Do you want me to pass your message?"

I shrugged. "Can I just wait in his room?"

"Sir Kyle won't like it if strangers come to his room, but he won't mind if it's you. You slept on his room once" He laughed awkwardly. "Do you have any problem, Ms? You don't look good?" He asked worriedly.

"No, it's okay Jasper, I'm just tired, probably because I'm drunk. Can I go now?"I cut the chit-chat.

"I'm sorry for my impolite attitude, come on in" Jasper opened the door wider. "You know where to go, Ms" I smiled a little and walk straight to his room.

*********

In his dark room, it's as dark as I closed my eyes. I really wanted to cry, but I held back all the tears. I can't be weak, I won't be weak, I am not weak. All I can hear was the sound of the rain, and I can sense the cold climate because of the rain. Until the door was opened.

"What a surprise," I said to him. I saw him, leaning to the door. His face is still the same. Like he doesn't want me to be here, like shushing me to go.

"I thought you're the one who wanted to give me a surprise, cut the chase. What do you want, Sia?" I got up and walked a step closer. Not close enough to feel his heartbeat, not close enough to feel his breath, not close enough like we used to.

"Why, Kyle? Why are you doing this to me?" I crossed my arms. "Is it because I told you about my past? Then you're a liar. You told me that you won't get scared of me"

"I understand you, Sia. I was until I know. I know nothing about you, how sly you are, for using me, for your benefit" He took a step closer, looking at me in disbelief.

"I didn't, Kyle. I'm not going to. I thought..." I paused, looking at him straight to his eyes. "I thought you're different. I thought that we won't just end like this"

He looked at me in disbelief. "You don't know me, yet you don't even care"

"What do you mean?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You're selfish, Sia. You think you're the only broken one, spend your time just to feel sorry for yourself. And you never care about others, about me" He looked at me.

Somehow, my tears burst out. "I am sorry. I think my dad's right. I think that I was tired, need a new town. To leave this all behind. Start a new life...." I paused. "Start it all over, where no one knows my name. After all of this done, I'll go" I gulped. "That's the only option that I have"

We were both in silence for minutes. "Goodbye, Kyle. I just wanted to tell you that, in case I have no time for saying that. Before I go, I just wanted you to know....." I took a deep breath. "I like you, Kyle. I-I don't know is it love or something else, but looking at your dazzling green eyes, from the first time I knew, you'll matter to me. When we were in Paris, I admitted I was hoping for your kiss, but I don't want to let my guard down. I'm not ready to be hurt again, I was so happy with you. Your jokes, your laughs, once again that pretty damn eyes. Thank you for all the flowers, for all the smiles, and for giving me so much happiness. Here..." I took off my Cartier bracelet and put them on his hand. "I'm afraid, it'll keep me reminding of you"