Random Avengers Stories

Avengers on Crack

Peter woke up with a groan "Why today?"

"Pete get your ass up and get ready" His adopted father Tony yelled from somewhere else in the tower.

"LaNgUaGe" 'Wait, Steve? What's going on? Why is he here? Isn't he a criminal still? ' Thoughts like this ran through Peters' head as he threw on some clothes and ran to meet Tony in the kitchen. What he didn't expect was to see all the Avengers, including Thor and Loki. (This is where my friend starts helping) Natasha was chewing on a crusty waffle. Banner was updating something on his wattpad. Clint was cleaning out his ears in the bathroom hoping he could hear better.

Bucky was just getting out of the shower, he wasn't fully dressed, he heard a voice he didn't recognize and he thought to himself 'hey who the hell has that squeaky voice' he didn't realize there was a freaking Avengers reunion in the living room, so he walks out with no pants just boxers, Rhody pipes up "Hey smart one you aren't wearing any pants." Bucky replies "ah screw you Rhody give me a minute to get somewhat decent." He goes back into the bathroom to get fully clothed before coming out again.

Wanda and Vision had cuddled up on the couch, they had fun last night, (If you know what I mean) everyone was pretty puzzled about their behavior. Thor was trying to steal the pop tarts from Loki, but Loki was not letting Thor have them "Give them here small, mortal brother! Ah you ain't worth it I shall go to the wall of mart and get more for myself and my friends. Perhaps I shall take this funny looking insect with me." Thor said pointing at Peter, who was hanging on the ceiling confused about what was going on.

Tony was skeptical about letting peter out of his sight; he promised his hot, sweet, smelly Aunt May he would watch Peter intently after she moved to Germany. Peter didn't go because he had homework.

When Thor on his way out, Loki called out "Good luck getting your ego out of the door, I'll shove a fucking huge hammer in your ass when your sleeping." Then Loki mumbled "Oh god he's such an immortal moron,"

Clint finally got out of the bathroom "Whats all the ruckus?" Tony then yells at Clint"WHY WERE YOU AND BUCKY BOTH IN THE SAME BATHROOM AT THE GOD DAMN SAM WILSON TIME, YOU NASTY FUCKERS!" Bucky and Clint looked at each other then he said "Eh we got the same parts, just in different shapes, colors, and sizes, once you've seen one, you've seen em all, so why not show em off." Everyone in the room quickly runs to the nearest Walmart to alert Thor and Peter in fear of the scandalous acts and of their responses.

Once they get there Drax comes out of nowhere and says "On my planet we did this every Thursday" then drops his briefs. "Such a fun earth tradition!" Thor yells out "I shall join in on this tradition!" then he drops all of his clothes. Peter runs to Tony, crying, everyone else gasps, and Loki calls 911 on Thor. Tony says in his head 'This is the shit that happens when I put weed in the oatmeal.'

The End!

My friend helped me write this when I asked her what to do.