One for the Team

27 | before

It's Wednesday and we're sitting at a corner table at Levi's parents' bakery because Milo needed caffeine before meeting some girl for a group project and Ace felt like seeing the world burn.

I'm staring at Levi walking our way. I admit I prayed on my way here. On any given day, I would have prayed that he was working, that I would walk in and catch a glimpse of him in a black apron, pouring steaming coffee into some lucky someone's mug, or holding plates of nice pastries. But not today. Today, I wished him gone. Prayed him away.

Ace is wearing a smug smile and one of my sweatshirts. Milo's saying something about a gaydar and I'm thinking about the irony. Thinking if his fucking gaydar worked, it shouldn't take Levi showing up for it to go off.

I'm looking at Levi and he's looking at me. Or us. Our table. Our direction. He's mumbling the song playing in the background of the bakery.

"Hello there," he says. "What can I get you today?"

Levi's smiling and I'm staring at him. I think we all are. He's wearing a black t-shirt tucked in a pair of black chinos, and I'm trying not to stare. I shouldn't stare. I should be taking the lead in the conversation before any of the others can. I know their orders, I should say them, so they don't have to, but Levi's hair is a mess of curls today, and he's wearing a ring, and –

"Hello, princess." Milo starts, slapping Levi's ass.

"Do you mind?" There's my voice.

"Yes, Finn, I do actually –"

"I don't care." I stop him, typing on the notes app on my phone and then showing it to Levi, "You guys serve this here, right?"

Levi looks at it very seriously and then opens his mouth to answer. Ace interrupts him. "So, tell me, fag –"

"Ace," I warn him.

"Fine. Tell me, if I burn this place to the ground, will you crawl back to whatever fucking hole you came out of?"

Levi opens his mouth to answer again. I open mine first, "You don't have to answer that."

"Right," he says, and then he walks away. I take a deep breathe.

"Oh, calm down, Finn," Ace says.

Milo's shaking his head, "Yeah, Finn, you're no fun. No fun at all."

I don't answer him. I don't have to. Instead, I wait a couple of minutes and then get up to use the toilet. Behind me, Milo reminds me to put the seat down when I sit down to pee and Ace slaps his head for it.

I flip him off as I walk away. But I don't go to the toilets. Instead, I sneak through the staff door and into the kitchen where Levi's dad is putting bread in the oven. He doesn't see me leaving through the back door.

In reality, what I showed Levi on my phone had nothing to do with their menu. Instead, I wrote for him to meet me outside. Most days I am mess, but not today. Today I might just be okay.

Levi is leaning against the railing where he usually locks his bike, elbows against the metal, hips slightly thrust forward. His t-shirt is tucked in a way that reveals all the nice lines of his body, and his chinos look smart on him, and he's smiling.

"Your authority is such a turn on," he says, teasing me.

I walk closer, "Is it?"

My hands grab the railing on each side of him. He smells like coffee and pastries and I'm staring at his smile.

He says yes. Yes, it is.

I lean in, "What else?"

Levi doesn't move, but then again, I think Levi will always be the strongest person in the room. He looks at my lips.