amnesia || renmin au

four

 Renjun didn't come out of his room for days. Sicheng brought food upstairs for him, but noticed that he usually left it untouched, so he stopped after a bit. Renjun spent his days crying, and his only focus was Jaemin. He would call in to the hospital every day, to check on Jaemin's condition.

Sicheng found it very unhealthy, shutting everyone out and going into such isolation. He would try to comfort him, but he would just ignore him and look the other way. His friends had contacted Sicheng too, and he filled them in on what Renjun was going through. They offered to provide emotional support, but Renjun refused to talk to them as well. His grades were also dropping, due to his lack of attendance.

Aside from the occasional trip downstairs, Renjun spent his winter break locked in his room. His parents had decided no to come for the New Year because of the poor weather conditions and risks of an unsafe flight. Sicheng still hung out with his friends, but he couldn't help but worry for his younger brother.

They waited weeks, almost months for news on Jaemin. When school started again after winter break, Renjun started attending school again to bring his grades back up and would occasionally visit the hospital after school to hold Jaemin's hand. He prayed everyday for him to wake up, and the nurses that visited would always give him sad looks.

Renjun didn't care; he kept visiting him anyway. Some days he would sit by Jaemin's side and tell him how much he loved him, other days he would just watch in silence, with Jaemin's face cupped in his hand.

"I wish you were here," he cried. It was mid-January, and Jaemin had been in a coma for six weeks. Renjun sat in a stool next to Jaemin's bed, carefully caressing the fragile boy's hands and hair.

"I keep asking myself, what if you didn't go home that night? What if you had stayed over? Would you still be with me now?" Renjun had thought these things countless times and was flooded with guilt. "If you never came over in the first place, you wouldn't be here, these machines the only thing keeping you alive."

"I feel like I'm going crazy, telling you these things when you can't even hear me. I guess I just need to let it out somewhere. I've burdened Sicheng enough and I don't want to drag the others into this. Honestly Nana, I don't know what to do."

"I miss your clingy ass," he continued. "I miss your smile and your head on my chest. I miss going home together and cuddling on the couch. I miss everything about us, Nana. I wish there was some way I could help you recover."

"I love you," Renjun whispered as he stood up to leave. "Please wake up soon."

~~~~~

A/N:

ik this is a mess adksjf my concept of time? dont know her! also im kinda annoyed at how short the part is riP

i do have like the first 12 parts written but idk if i should post them all at once or wait intervals between posting,, i'll probably update once every few days unless i get harassed into posting more :)) i dont think thatll happen tho ?? bc there arent many ppl reading atm.

- amy