What we seek (Revenge) Book One

Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE

Sitting on the front porch in her deep brown rocking chair I see the memory of my mother with a ball of yarn laying at her feet and knitting needles in hand with a contented smile on her lips. My father comes walking out of the door and leans over my mother’s shoulder to place a sweet kiss on her cheek causing a blush to creep onto her cheeks.

A young version of me comes crawling out from under her chair wrapping my arms and legs around my father’s leg and a giggle bubbles up from deep within my chest. “Where is Kimmy?” my father asks curiously and I pull on his jeans “I'm down here Daddy!” he suddenly scoops me up in his arms and I giggle even more at his playfulness.

He spins me around and around making my mother laugh as well and my head begins to spin “Again, again!” I urge and my father chuckles deeply. He repeats the spinning causing me to squeal in delight before placing me down on two very unsteady legs. They both laugh as I drunkenly fall onto my behind and slowly the pinning in my head stops.

I sink down to my knees as the memory replays in my head and more tears come streaming down my face. I lay my head on the porch step while more sobs wreck through my body and I cry uncontrollably. I cry and cry until my tears run dry and my nose is all stuffy. I miss my parents… all I have of them is memories and nothing more.

I slowly stand up from the ground and more calmly enter the house. Every piece of furniture has been covered in white sheets and a thick layer of dust has collected over the past ten years. I try to turn on the lights but I know it’s a lost cause. There is no electricity, why would there be after ten years of no one living in the house?

I make my way through the dimly lit hallways and into the kitchen and search the drawers for one of the many lanterns my parents have collected over the years. To my surprise I find two and both are still in good working condition.  The light from the lanterns illuminates the kitchen and for a moment I just lean back against the counter top and the faint scent of my mother’s baking reaches my nose from deep within a memory.

I close my eyes and I can already see my younger self standing in front of the oven staring at the cookies asking my mother every few minutes if they are ready yet. She would simply laugh and tell me “all in good time Kim” and she would continue rolling the dough for the next batch.

I slowly sink down to the ground holding my knees to my chest as I begin to feel so overwhelmed by all of these memories.  The longer I sit, the more I begin to realize just how selfish I am being towards Kyle. He has always been there for me and he never left me no matter what. He held me when I cried myself to sleep or when I woke up screaming from my nightmares. He just always knew when to be there for me.

What I did by running away is selfish. He needs me, just like I needed him in my darkest times. I guess I just never thought he needed help.  He is always so sure of himself, so strong and confident, whereas I am weak and pathetic and always crying. I have leaned on him so many times over the past 10 years that I never took his pain and his suffering into consideration.

I really am all he has left as well as Aunt Hanna…

I stand up from the kitchen floor and dust myself off with a new found purpose. I am going to be there for Kyle like he has been there for me all these years. He only ever shows emotion when it comes to me, so I need to talk to him about his parents ad have him tell me everything.

I need to know more about my best friend, because it must have been really important to him the thing about his parents for him to have kept it from me. We don’t keep secrets from each other.