You told me I was nothing but a distraction, and that I was no motivation to you at all. Only god knows how much pain I felt at that very moment, I felt like a bus had hit me right when those words came out of your mouth, I felt like I was being stabbed by a million knives and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Doubting myself was the only thing I could do, there was so much I could've done better, if only I did it you would still be here. You told me before you were losing motivation, it killed me every time you'd tell me that only because it hurt knowing I was no motivation to you whatsoever. You wanted me to help you, but how could I help you if I can't even help myself? You put all the pressure on me, I tried to do the best that I could, but it wasn't enough.
I was only a distraction to you, I took you away from the things you really loved, and it kills me to know that I caused so much trouble. I never meant to separate you from your sanity, that was never my intention. I never meant to cause you so much pain.
You told me it was hard for you to love me to the fullest because you were still broken from her, if only you knew how truly broken I still am because of what he did and what I've been through. I never let that get in the way of our relationship nor was I ever going to. I wish you could've told me from the very beginning that way we wouldn't be in this situation.
It pains me to know that you gave up on me because I clearly wasn't enough for you to stay.
