Hiding Place || Tori Kelly

Isaiah 41:10

7:25 PM

Tori Kelly laid on her soft, grey couch scrolling through Twitter just hanging around with her husband on a typical Tuesday night. She had finally settled in from her workout and was ready to just relax. "Babe," André giggled.

"Yeah?" Tori replied as she looked up from her phone. Once she realized it was a video, her shy side revealed itself causing her to giggle and hide behind her hands. "I look gross! Stop," she chuckled. André waited a few more moments to see if she'd give in, but Tori didn''t budge.

"Okay, okay. It's over," André laughed as the video went off and was sent to his story. "Dinner. What's the plan?" He asked, moving to the side of the sectional she was on and slipping his legs under hers.

"I don't care. It's whatever," Tori replied. André shrugged and gently rubbed her legs. "You good?" Tori questioned, knowing that he was only this touchy feely when he wanted one of two things. She watched him shrug, causing her to swat his hands away. "We just did it this morning. Give a girl a break," she smirked. André's cheeks flushed red as he moved her into his lap.

"That's not it, but I like how you think," he replied. Tori playfully smacked his chest and dropped her phone behind her.

"Okay, so if it's not that, then what did you do?" She skeptically asked. André nestled his head into her neck leaving butterfly kisses on her skin to butter her up for a discussion he was certain she would dismiss. "Murillo," Tori said. "You have my attention and I'm not gonna get any sweeter than this. Lay it on me," Tori warned. André stopped in his tracks and met her eyes. With a deep breath he leaned back into the couch.

"Have you thought about what we talked about the other night? I don't wanna seem like I'm rushing you, but I was just curious. It's been a couple of days, so..." he trailed off. Tori rolled her eyes and started to get up. "Babe, wait! Don't go," André begged. Tori shook her head and grabbed her phone.

"Why? Why is this such a big deal for everyone? Am I not enough for you right now? Why do we have to rush into being parents? We got married a year ago but only truly spent five months at home as a married couple since the tour ended. Can we enjoy us before bringing another life into this? Is that too much to ask?" Tori fumed, before storming off to the back deck. André slipped deeper into the couch with his hands over his face, knowing he messed up.

7:48 PM

Tori sat at the glass table on the deck of she and her husbands three story home in Southern California, taking in the view of the city below. The singer played around with the cellphone in her hands until she finally decided to call the only person that she could think of. "Lex? Are you alone?" She asked, looking back to see her husband on the couch playing basketball on the X-box.

"I mean Ocean is in my lap, but Carlos and my dad went to the store if that's what your asking," Alexa PenaVega replied. The two met on set of a Hallmark project they worked on years prior and kept in touch because of their faith.

"He brought it up again," Tori sighed. She had talked with Alexa after the first talk and only saw it fitting to call her up again.

"What's going on, hun? You were so relaxed and great with Ocean. You seemed like you wanted motherhood to be the next transition. Like you were finally ready," Alexa asked. Tori played with her messy hair and shrugged even though her friend couldn't see her.

"I don't know. I just don't feel like it's the right time. When did you know it was the right time with you and Los?" Tori asked. She heard her friend think back almost four years to before she had her son.

"After our schedules calmed down a bit we decided that there was no better time than the present," Alexa answered. "We stopped using condoms, I got off of birth control and we really started trying," she continued. Tori picked at a loose thread on her hoodie and shuttered a bit from the cool air.

"That's where we are now, but I feel like I'm the only one not ready for a child. I just feel so anxious and frustrated anytime anyone brings it up," Tori answered. She couldn't fully put into words her angst, but Alexa knew first hand, where Tori's reservations stemmed.

"Well, we know what the Bible says about being frustrated," Alexa led. Tori nodded and cuddled into a ball on the chair. "Isiah 41:10. Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for -"

"I am your God," Tori finished. "I know. I just... I don't know," Tori sighed. She wasn't sure why she still didn't want to have kids, but she knew that she couldn't figure it out on her own.

"Hey, don't feel rushed to do anything. When you get pregnant you'll want it to be the happiest time of your life. Not a burden," Alexa advised. Tori nodded and stared off towards the dark sky. "Hang in there, Tori. You'll be just fine," Alexa said, before hanging up. Unconvinced, Tori laid her head on her folded arms and stared off into space as tears coated her cheeks and sleeves.

"God, is it me? What is wrong with me? Why do I not feel led to do the one thing my body was made to do? I thought I was ready," She whispered. Tori truly only spent three minutes crying before André came out to the deck.

"Babe, come back inside. You're gonna get sick out here," André tried. Tori started to wipe away her tears and slowly got out of her chair. She attempted to buy herself sometime to get it together, but André being the observant husband that he was, could see something was bothering her. "Tori, are you crying?" He sadly asked. The twenty-seven-year-old shook her head and tried to push past him into the house. But, having a 6'2 basketball player with wingspan of an eagle didn't work out that well. André shut the sliding door behind himself, and caught Tori's arm, before she could disappear out of the kitchen. "Baby. Talk to me," he pleaded. Tori silently shook her head, forcing him to grab a hold of her waist and set her on the island counter top. "Victoria, I'm serious. Why are you in tears?" André asked, getting genuinely scared. Tori continued her silence and did her best to lose his gaze. "Was it because of what I asked? Babe, I apologize. I didn't mean to make you cry," André worriedly scrambled. Tori took his face into her hands and finally met his eyes.

"I'm fine," she lied. "I just got off the phone with Lex and she told me something sad. That's all. I'm fine. And it's not about that. I overreacted. A baby isn't an issue, just give me some time, okay?" Tori deceived. André nodded and pecked her lips. Just like that Tori had signed a contract she hadn't meant to without reading the fine print.

10:15 PM

Tori laid on her side next to her naked husband, who was sound asleep. She fixed her camisole and sat up from the bed. Slowly she crept off of the mattress and into the reading nook where her bible and study materials sat. While taking a seat in her chair at the small table, Tori noticed that her bible was opened to Isaiah 41:10. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Of course," Tori read in almost a whisper. She had moments, and they weren't often, when she could see the works that God was doing and she could see how this would be one of them. However, she didn't necessarily see it coming to fruition just yet.

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To Be Continued...