a/n: this was the worst forty minutes of my life and I will never again write in Elizabethan English. screw you for requesting this kookie-wyd . (i still love u tho lmao)
I began mine fair morn as always. I awoke, and called hither mine maids. O! How slow some o'er other can be! Thou wouldest become a shriveled hag waiting upon these maids! Ne'r have I experienced such woe saveth for...
(i began my day as always, i woke up and called for my servants and they were slow, i'm getting old just waiting for them. I've never been so upset except for...)
Mine fair KMart. I of course still recall the wondrous occasion of our brief affair...
(my beautiful KMart. I still remember the short time we spent together)
*flashiemcbackie*
"Good Morrow, fair lady."
(good day, beautiful lady)
"Good morrow to thou as well, good sir."
(good day to you as well sir)
"Say, thou fair lady, wherefore dost thou looketh familiar? Hast I made thine acquaintance before?"
(hey beautiful, why do you look so familiar? Have i met you before?)
"Aye, thou looketh familiar as well, but I cannot recall the occasion of our meeting. Mayhaps Lady Fate hath placed us hither with thy image of thou in mine head?"
(ya you look familiar too but i don't think we've met, maybe it's fate)
"Indubitably so, my lady. I am KMart, son of Sears. And who art thou?"
(ya definitely. I'm KMart and my daddy is Sears. Who are you)
"My name is (Y/N), daughter of Dillards. Thy father be Sears? Then Lady Fate hast not smiled, but grimaced and struck with sharp hand."
(I'm (Y/N), my daddy is Dillards. Your dad is Sears? Then fate hates us.)
"Thy be of the Dillards? Wherefore art thou Dillards, mine fair maiden? I knoweth that love looks not with eyes, but with the mind- and therefore is wing'd cupid painted blind, but nor hath love any judgement taste. Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste. And therefore is love said to be a child- for in choice he is so oft beguiled."
(you're a Dillard? Why are you a Dillard, my beautiful girl? I know that love is blind and that's why cupid is painted as blind, but love has no taste because wings and no eyes make for a fast but terribly done job. That's why love is said to be a child because he is so often tricked.)
"O! Thou must kid, for one cannot love that which they do not know, and thou will not know what all but thou do know. So I, admiring of thine qualities know- that I admire only that which I see, but nothing of the mind and spirit, kind sir. So I must express that thou feel the same, but beneath the surface may lie unheedy features of the mind, so I implore thee to look deeper or move along thy merry way and do not dishearten thy father."
(you've gotta be joking, you can't love me we just met you don't even know me. I think you're hot but I don't know anything about you. I am also attracted to you, but for all I know, you're a jerk, so get to know me or go away so that you don't disappoint your family with your choiced)
"Shall we copulate and elope then?"
(wanna hook up then run away together)
"Aye, I must say thine plan is solid."
(ya sure dude.)
THE END
