Amarillo

Time and Tears

You stepped into the dingy visiting room. You were here to visit your boyfriend, Murdoc. He'd been locked up for some time, and both of you were getting ansy. You've never been away from him for so long. It was killing you and driving him mad. The two of you needed a little alone time, to say the least. It's a little hard to be intimate and loving with so many people watching.

And it didn't help that Murdoc was behind a pane of glass.

You picked up the greasy telephone and locked eyes with Murdoc. He was already jabbering about how great his stay was. You nodded along, letting him preserve the fantasy a just a little bit longer. You knew it was bad here. The prison wasn't clean, and Murdoc kept sprouting new and innovative injuries. Of course he would never tell you the truth though. Obviously he was trying to nurse his shot ego and keep you from freaking out, but it wasn't working.

He stopped mid sentence and sighed. He closed his eyes, "I'm sorry, love. I just can't do this."

"I know. It's been hell for you. You don't have to hide it," you said softly, trying to prompt him to keep talking.

"Baby, this has got to be the worst stay in the big house I've ever had. Never before has anyone found an effective way to shut me up," he rubbed his jaw where the wires had been. He had been so distraught about that, that he had sent you a letter forbidding you to see him until they were removed. He knew you'd cry and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

"How much longer?" you already knew the answer, but maybe things would change if he just behaved. People who've done worse get out all the time for good behavior.

"Princess, it's 25 to life. I don't think I'll ever see grass again," Murdoc looked at you through his choppy bangs, wearing the saddest expression on his face. He looked like he was trying to apologize for the way things turned out. Like he had lost a high stakes card game an now you were homeless. There was so much you had planned to do together. There was trips, kids, and mid morning coffee runs you'd never get now. And you had looked up the track record of this joint. Nobody ever made it out on good behavior. But Murdoc was still trying. He really was. The usually self serving bastard that he generally was, had changed. He'd been kissing ass and earning favours left and right. But the only thing he'd gotten is some stamps and a cellphone. And he knew that was all he'd get. Unfortunately, teaching bass to your inmates and washing the warden's laundry does not change the fact that this place is corrupt. And you didn't have the kind of money to buy his freedom. So the two of you were forced to press your hands to the glass, the only way you'd ever hold hands again.

"Murdoc, I love you," you blurted out. You were cracking. You were trying so hard to not show how miserable you were without him around. You wanted to be strong for him, to show him everything was okay. Just like he was trying to do for you. But it wasn't working. The both of you were quietly crying now.

"Don't say anything else, just stay," he whispered, laying his head on the glass, "I'm gonna be home soon, I promise."