Memoir of Summer [Editing]

Chapter 8

"Son! What have gotten in to you? Don't you know how dangerous it is to travel when the dawn is yet to break? God. You even have school today, haven't you?" mom bursted on the phone. It was supposed to be a shout, but my Mama's voice is naturally calm.

I rested my head on the headrest of the sit of my car, and pinched the bridge of my nose. My head is terribly aching, maybe because of the liqour and lack of sleep.

"I'm fine, Ma. I'll be back soon. I promise," I uttered softly. Mama sighed.

"Anak, you know I'm not against of your happiness, and I will never be. Pero naman, Maven, nanay mo pa rin ako at mag-aalala at mag-aalala ako para sa kalagayan mo..." I didn't replied. Not because I was irritated but because my mom's calm voice soothed my throbbing head. "Fine. Let's just talk about it when you come back. Take care, okay?"

My lips formed a smile, and nodded as if Mama could see me. "Yeah. Thank you, Ma..." for being understanding... for being patient... for being my mom.

"Just please take care of yourself, and come back whole. A'right?" I chuckled.

After that, Mama hanged up. Ibinaling ko naman ang paningin sa matatayog na puno na nagsisilbing panakip ng isang lumang bahay sa pinakadulo. It's been half-an-hour now since I pulled over, but I don't have the guts to go on. Fear, guilt and shame were bombarding me.

What if she shoo me away again? How can I deal with another rejection?

Fuck. I sounded gay.

Mahina kong iniuntog ang aking ulo sa manibela ng sasakyan. I didn't travelled for five long hours for nothing.

I finally decided to got out of my car. Hinarang ko ang kanang kamay sa mukha nang tumama sa akin ang paunang sinag ng araw. It brought warm against the cold breeze of morning wind. Mamasa-masa ang sapatos na suot ko sa bawat hakbang na ginagawa ko. Dulot ng mga munting patak ng tubig na nagmula sa mga dahon na inaapakan ko. My leather jacket on top of a white shirt and matched with a black pants seems out of place.

My heart automatically palpated when the rusty red gate was in sight. Mixed emotions rushed into me. Pero mas naging matimbang ang pananabik. Now, how can I go far away and leave you, Summer? When weeks of being away from you made me like a living dead?

Maingat ang mga galaw na ginagawa ko. Sinubukan ko pa na buksan ng marahan ang gate nang sa ganoon ay hindi lumikha ng ingay. But it was no use.

Suddenly, my head pulsated! Napahawak ako sa magkabilang sentido ko nang hindi pa rin tumitigil sa paghinga ang utak ko. Para itong pinipilipit. Kasabay niyon ay napakaingay na tunog ng sunod-sunod na mga yapak. Para itong tumatakbo... palapit sa akin. The noise grew louder and louder na napayuko na ako. I can't take the noise!

"Maven!"

A soft shout had made the trouble in me stop. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Biglang nawala ang mga yapak. The pulsating of my brain stopped so abruptly as well. What was that?!

Kahit gulat pa sa nangyari ay nagawa kong tanawin si Summer na nakangiti. I felt a literal stab in my heart when I saw her crying. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Malalim ang paghingang ginagawa ko. What's happening to me?

I set aside the discomfort I was feeling and started walking slowly to where Summer was. Nanatiling nakatayo roon si Summer sa bandang labasan ng bahay. Just like the first time I saw her, she looked the same and she was wearing the same white dress. Kung dati, ako 'yung mukhang bata sa amin, hindi na ngayon. I look older than her now.

"How are you?" maingat na bigkas ko. I gently looked at her teary eyes. Kinusot niya ang mga mata at nagulat ako sa paghiyaw niya. Napahawak na naman ako sa aking puso nang may kakaibang kirot akong naramdaman rito.