What Was Left Behind ✳️

Church

12/16/18 - Sunday

The lights are dim and my veins flush in a cold I was too familiar with.
The voices of children start
And I start to tremble
I feel trapped, stuck here in my head.

Too many people.

Too loud.

My breathing remains slow.
I can't ruin another thing.
My anxiety is a beast only I can tame.

Then why is the beast 8 times stronger than me?
People are too close
I can't swing my sword to kill the beast that's right behind me
Breathing down my neck as panicked thoughts fill my mind

Too close

Too loud

Help.

Tears warm my face and no one notices
My grip is tightly placed on my fingers
I can't feel them anymore
My feet are numb and I'm shaking

My breathings slow
I'm okay
Sure.
Let's go with that.

Another Christmas song plays and the preacher starts to talk once it ends
His voice booming
Microphone in his hand
I can't go home now, I'm trapped.

Save me.

The beast is winning.
Dragging their claws down the insides of my arm, despite my jacket.
I can feel it move and claw my chest

I'm shaking more
The beast is invisible
No

Stop

I'm not okay anymore,
And this time someone noticed

A/n:
Hello guys. This was what I wrote reflecting my time at Church. My terrible, uncomfortable time at church where I spent the last ten minutes crying in the car while my dad just added to my anxiety.

That's a wrap. Sorry you witnessed cringe.

- Bridget