you're my everything ~FILLIE AU~

thirteen - fire

Finn woke up with a headache and a crushing feeling of disappointment once he realized that the side of the bed next to him was empty. 

He cursed under his breath, only remembering coming to Millie's and blurting out nonsense, his stupid heart speaking for him. Looking out of the window cautiously, he furrowed his eyebrows when he saw that Millie's parents cars were still gone, they must not have caught their flight back yet. Stepping down to the kitchen, he quickly swallowed some water and pills, needing the constant ache to go away in his head, knowing that the pills wouldn't help the ache deep within his heart. 

"You're up then" a cold voice came from behind him. Before he turned around, her body brushed up against his to reach the fridge, her hand taking out a cartoon of orange juice. 

"Millie-" he started but she had already walked back up the stairs without another word. Finn sighed and let out a groan. "Fuck's sake. Millie!"

"I don't want to hear it" she mumbled as he followed her up the stairs, hot on her heels. He reached out and grabbed her slim waist, pushing her against the wall gently and glaring at her angry face. 

"I don't care. You're going to listen whether you want to or not" he snapped, running a hand through his hair in anger. "Are you going to ignore me forever and not let me apologize?"

"I don't need to ignore you" she shrugged. "Because you're not coming back here again, you know where the door is."

"Stop it" he sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm an asshole, I already know that. But I just need you to know that I didn't mean what I said and I am willing to leave if you really want me to."

"Why did you say it then?" Millie snapped. "You just wanted to break my heart, is that it?"

He sighed and they fell silent for a few moments, glaring at each other. He wished she would stop being so stubborn, but he knew that he deserved all of the words she was throwing at him. It didn't make them hurt any less though. He wanted to go back in time to when they were laughing together, trying on clothes and sharing cereal. He wanted to see her look at him with that look in her eyes, like she wanted to figure him out so badly, unaware that she already knew him better than anyone. 

"I was scared" he finally spat out in a low voice, not daring to look into her eyes, "I was scared, okay? I felt different with you than I have with anyone else and didn't want you to get attached to me. I can't do this with you, Millie."

Her cold expression faltered slightly, "Finn-"

"No" he repeated, "you don't understand. I can't give you hope when one day I'll mess it all up. I don't want to break your heart one day because I can't give you what you want."

"You already broke my heart" Millie's voice was shaky. 

"I'm sorry" he whispered, letting go off her and stepping away. "I'll just go. Don't worry, I'll find somewhere else to stay. Thank you for everything."

He got a couple of steps towards the front door when she sighed, calling after him. "Finn..don't go, please."

"I have to" he muttered, opening the door but she closed it immediately, turning him around and looking into his eyes pleadingly. 

"I don't want you to go" she admitted desperately. 

"Millie-"

"I like having you here with me. Look, I know you don't feel the same but I don't want you staying anywhere else. You aren't my responsibility but I'll still worry, I need to know you're safe" she rambled. 

Finn shook his head with a deep sigh of exasperation. "Don't say that. Trust me, I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone but we can't do this. You deserve much more and I am not going to let you settle for me and then wait for me to mess it all up one day."

"I bet you say that to everyone" she scoffed lightly. "You don't have to pretend that I'm any different, Finn."

He stepped closer to her, cupping her cheeks gently. "No, I don't" he warned. "I tired to get you off my mind last night with someone who looked like you, but here I am. I came back to yours, I always come back to you."

She let her eyes flutter shut as he ran a thumb across her soft cheek but then opened them again, the orbs filled with desperation. "Then why can't you just try?"

"I can't watch you fall in love with me more every day and then break you. You need someone who will always be there, who would never hurt you. I can't guarantee that..."

He kept his gaze o the floor, knowing that if he stared into her eyes for too long he would be a goner. He looked up at her and she had a strange look in her eye, one that almost looked like determination. 

"Maybe I don't want a guarantee" she whispered and pushed herself up on her tiptoes, letting their lips collide. 

Finn's body weakened under her touch and he immediately gave in with a soft sigh, not caring about the consequences. He pushed her back up against the door and moaned as their lips moved together with a kind of fire that he had never felt before. If messing around with other girls gave him a warm buzz, touching Millie made him feel like his entire body was being engulfed in flames. 

Millie gasped as he tilted her head further, a strong hand on her neck as another one ran down to her hip. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, her instantly letting his collide with hers with a soft whimper that drove him crazy. He pulled away, instantly moving to her neck and leaving harsh kisses, sucking gently on the skin to leave something to prove that she was his, and always would be. Millie let out soft sighs and gasps that had him tighten his hold on her lips, tilting her head back so that he could move further down her neck. 

As her fingers worked on removing his shirt, his mind caught up with his actions and he started to freak out. He pulled away instantly with a groan, resting his forehead against hers as she gasped for breath. 

"Millie...we can't do this. I said we can't" Finn groaned against her lips, sighing as she tried to pull him closer. 

"You didn't seem like you wanted to stop" she challenged with a coy smile, playing with the curls around his neck. 

"I don't want to stop" he confessed with a sigh. "But we have to. I can't be anything more than friends with you...I can't give you anything more."

Millie let out a reluctant breath, letting go off his neck and staring down at her feet sadly. "Fine. Friends only. But I still want you staying here, I feel comfortable with you here, safe from whoever is following you."

"Okay, deal" he smiled lightly, pecking her cheek and then stepping away. 

She went into the bathroom to change and he sat down on her bed with a sigh, running his hand over his face. He couldn't get the thought of her soft lips and addictive touch out of his mind, and how much he wanted to do it again. He thought that kissing her would get her out of his system, and that he would become bored like he always did. He would always become fed up once he got what he wanted and he would move on to the next thing on his long list of desires. But not after kissing Millie. 

But if anything, he only wanted her more. 

xxx

A little bit of heat and emotion, what more do you want? I know that Finn is being an asshole and we will obviously see how long this "friends" thing will last... because I doubt it will last long myself.

I hope you enjoyed their first kiss (*cough* intense *cough* ) and where the story line went after their argument, it was nice to see both sides of the stories as well as a cute drunk Finn! I will update real soon, but let me know what you thought, leave a cheeky comment as to what you want to happen next! 

If you actually read my pointless authors notes, have a cookie!

~Jodie