𝙒𝙃𝙄𝙏𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙎𝙀𝙎 // 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀

o n e

Not proofread!

"How bad is the pain from 1-10?"

"Millie? Millie, you have to answer"

"10" I say so low that they almost didn't hear me.

"What did you say?"

"Uhm 5," I say sounding unsure. I hate lying.

"Are you sure?"

I think I'm going crazy here. It's always the same. How bad is the pain? Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?
Oh and don't get me started on the pitying looks I get. I understand that people feel sorry for me but I'm not dying. At least not soon.
I despise being pitied. It makes me feel so weak, so helpless, so sad. I don't feel sorry for myself. Quite honestly I don't feel anything. I know I should at least be a little sad or scared about never getting better but this is the reality not a fantasy world. I'm probably never going to get better.

I never tell my mom that though. She likes to think that I'll go back to how I was before.

Truth is I don't want to be who I was before.

I lost a lot of friends when I got sick but that doesn't really bother me. They were fake friends anyway. I only talk to 3 of my friends from school. Considering I was one of the popular kids that could be shocking. But even though I only had 3 friends, they were the best you could get.

Vanna, Daisy, and Caleb have always been there for me. And for them, I will forever be grateful.
I met them quite a long time ago. 2. grade to be specific. I met Vanna on the first day of school. People were making fun of her for being Asian and she started crying. I went into the bathroom and saw her sitting on the floor, holding onto her knees so I tried to comfort her. We instantly bonded.

Daisy is another story. She was actually one of the kids that made fun of Vanna. She regretted it and apologized to Vanna and me almost immediately after and Vanna forgave her after some time.

Caleb, we met later on. He was best friends with one of the bullies but he always protected us so he ended up just joining our little group.

They had always been there for me even though I wasn't there for them all the time.

I hadn't been the best friend ever. Trust me I regret everything I did to them. But I won't get into that story right now because I wanna keep my mood positive and all the bad memories is not gonna benefit my mood.

"Millie!!"

"what?!!" I scream out, trying to hide my irritation.

"I asked if you were sure"

"Y-yeah I'm sure"

30 mins later:

I tiptoe out of my room and into the backyard for a smoke. I know smoking is not gonna help me but I don't care, it's not like I do it all the time. Only when I want to escape.

I take a seat on the cold bench and turn my attention to the small engraved letters and slowly run my fingers over it. I feel tears forming in my eyes from the memory of him. I miss him, I really miss him.

C

My brother died when he was only 13. We didn't know he was sick he just passed away in his sleep. We had this bench in our garden but my mom decided to move it here so I could visit "him" whenever I wanted to.

H

I sometimes talk to him, which may look weird from afar but he has always been the only one that understood me.

A

His death really took a toll on our family. We were never the same. My dad stopped talking, my mom stopped listening and I stopped trying.

R

His death is why I'm here. It's not his fault that I got sick but his death had a bad influence on me and I gave up on everything.

L

He would always protect me. He would try to beat up all of my guy friends, convince me not to go on dates and when I told him about my first kiss he literally called the guys parents and told them he was skipping school. I hated it at the time but I miss it now.

I

I wish he was here. With me. Alive.

E

I let my fingers linger on the last letter of his name, letting the tear make its path down my frozen cheek. I stare at his little picture for what feels like an eternity until I'm interrupted by the sound of a loud siren.

I turn my head quickly as I see the doctors running to the ambulance as the stretcher is carried out. I stand up trying to catch a glimpse of the unfortunate person. The hurt person looks young but I can't make out any other information as the stretcher is hurried into the building. I put out my cigarette and follow.

While I'm on my way into the building I see a family of 3 standing with tears in their eyes. It looks like 2 sons and a mom. I wonder if they are the family of the hurt. I listen in to their conversation with the doctor.

"What age is the patient?"

I take a step closer

"He's 17" the mom cries out.

I try to make out what they are saying but I only hear bits of the conversation before I feel a light tap on my shoulder.

Okay, so this was the first "chapter" to my new story! Chapters won't be so long but I'm expecting a lot from this story since I'm so excited to write it. I will wait a while to update so that someone can see it.

-Maya