First Punch ➟ Kellic

E L E V E N

I wake up surprisingly not too hungover. I'm a bit more tired than I normally am, but it's really not too bad. I dress in my usual clothes, all black, and a long sleeve with a big white skull on the front. I felt like being a bit more emo today, which is pretty difficult to do considering I always wear black and only black.

I head off to school, groaning as I realize it's halfway through third period. I don't know how I'm going to face Jake. I'm so fucking embarrassed about last night. I can't believe I got drunk around him again. That was so fucking stupid. And my dumb drunk mouth wouldn't shut up. Now I've made him uncomfortable and lost the only friend I've had outside of the Triad. I hate myself. I really hate myself.

I stash my switchblade in the brick and head inside, grabbing my math book before starting off to calculus. I chew my lip the whole way, trying to figure out how to make amends. Should I act like nothing happened? Ugh, that's awkward. Should I bring it up? Ugh, that's even more awkward. This is awful. What the hell am I gonna do?

I reach the room, taking a deep breath before going in the back door. It's always awkward to come in late, but I find that going in through the back gets slightly less attention. Mrs Turner shakes her head at me, Jake turning and spotting me from his usual seat beside mine. I guess that's a good sign, he didn't move back to his old spot wherever that is. I don't look directly at him, worried that he might take it the wrong way.

I head over, sitting in the seat beside him. I don't want to flat out ignore him either, so I look over and shoot a smile. He returns it but with the smallest, weakest grin possible as he gives a slight wave.

"You hungover?" I whisper, trying to get us back to normal since it already feels pretty tense.

"Not really," he says with a shake of his head. "You?"

"Not as bad as I thought," I answer with a shrug. He laughs a little, falling silent. I take it as a hint to stop conversing and start jotting things down as I follow along the lesson.

It feels tense though. It's like if I say the wrong thing or make one wrong move then he'll snap on me or something. I'm nervous or...I don't know...scared even. I just want us to go back to the way we were.

"Look..." I start, wanting to clear the air. It felt like there was something between us and I wanted it gone. "About last night..."

"Right," he says, sighing.

"I'm sorry," we say at the same time. His expression fades to confusion and so does mine.

"What are you sorry for?" he asks, his eyebrows intensely furrowed.

"I just...I can't seem to control my stupid mouth when I'm drunk. And I didn't mean anything by it. You know I don't think you're..." I sigh, looking away from him.

"No, it's not your fault," he tells me. "I'm sorry I got all weird. I just..." I look at him again and his expression looks just as confused and lost as last night. "I don't know," he adds, shaking his head a little. "I shouldn't've said anything. I know it's not...I mean it's... I..." he seems to give up, groaning and face palming.

"Can we just forget it?" I ask hopefully. He lifts his head again, looking over at me curiously.

"Um...yeah. Yeah, it never happened," he says, looking away from me again. I nod, turning back to the front. But there's still tension.

Even as the bell rings, I can't seem to put my finger on it. He was still kind of off and I guess I was too, but it didn't feel like that was the problem. Something was just...I don't know...unsettled maybe? I just felt this sense of electricity every time we'd exchange a glance. Something's wrong with me. That's gotta be it.