First Punch ➟ Kellic

T H I R T Y S I X

Over the next few days, Jake and I hardly leave the house. He'd asked me what I wanted to watch on day one, and I let it slip that I hadn't owned a TV until recently and thus didn't exactly know what my options were. Jake practically freaked out, naming all these random movies, none of which I had seen. He said, and I quote, that I need a "movication" and forced me watch one after another. He's too cute.

Mateo and his mom have been nothing but supportive, surprisingly giving us our space. I hardly see them other than at dinner. Mateo does sneak us these teasing, knowing glances though. That little shit. Lucas has been the polar opposite. He hardly looks at me, and whenever he does it's just a glare. He's been loudly complaining about how much his back hurts, and honestly as annoying as it is I feel kind of bad. Not for him exactly, but more-so for Mateo's mom. She has to support four teenage boys now and is a single mother. There's no way that's easy.

"What are you thinking about?" Jake asks from his place beside me on the couch. Neither of us had been to school since the incident, and I'm not sure when or if we're ever going again.

I just shrug, saying, "I feel bad for Martina. I should be pitching in on groceries or something."

Jake smiles, taking my hand. "Don't worry about that, okay? I give her money every month for me and Lucas, and that includes you now too."

"Well...then I should be giving you money."

"I'm not taking your money," he chuckles, shaking his head and turning his attention back to the screen with some superhero movie playing on it.

"You haven't sold to anyone in weeks, Baby. Why won't you just let me pitch in?" I argue.

"Because," he replies, his tone firm. I sigh, not liking the response, and thankfully he adds more. "If it weren't for me you'd still be living with your gang."

"Whoa," I say soothingly, not liking that he's blaming himself. "This isn't your fault."

"But I called you. I knew you were with them and I still..." he stops, looking at his lap, a guilty expression on his face.

I tighten my grip on his hand, getting his attention again. "It's not your fault. I'm the one who answered. I'm the one who came to you. Hell, I even initiated the kiss. This isn't your fault, okay, you hear me?"

Jake still looks somewhat upset, but he nods anyway. I lean into him, feeling like he doesn't believe me and I don't know how to change his mind.

"I'm so happy you called me," I tell him. "I want to be there for you. I want to help you with things. Whenever you need me, I'll be there, okay? It doesn't matter how my gang feels about it."

Jake looks at me again, his expression completely stoic. What the Hell is going on in his head? He smiles slightly, making me relax and his gaze falls to our connected hands. He starts playing with the ring he'd given me, spinning it around my index finger. I still think of it as a promise ring, like he'd said, but I was too scared of wearing it on my ring finger and having it be obvious. Luckily, Lucas hasn't seemed to recognize it yet.

"I don't want you to be there for me if it hurts you," he mumbles.

"It doesn't hurt me," I assure him. He rolls his eyes, still avoiding eye contact as he looks back up at the screen. "I'm serious," I add. "Yeah, it sucks that Carter won't accept me, but...it sucks more always hiding who I am. If he can't see past my sexuality, then...that's what's hurting me, not the fact that he knows."