Privilege

CHAPTER X: Silence

English language, paper one question four.

Fuck me silently.

It was mid autumn, and outside my window I could see the ground covered in oranges and reds and purples. It looked Instagram worthy but pretty cold. In my room, it was another story: practically an oven.

My Saturday afternoon consisted of completing assignments. I'd been here barely a month and I was already drowning in coursework, homework and random scraps of paper. Help.

I had been working for around five hours and my head was on fire, I had drunk an ocean of water and it was still no use. It's kind of sick really- the education system. Kids are shoved into it from 5 years old and some of them never leave. Stressing us out for things that don't at all matter. I have to get out of here.

I picked up my phone and texted Max, if anyone was going to cheer me up it would be him. 

Me: wuu2
Max: nm u?
Me: I need to get out of my room. I'm kinda suffocating in here ngl
Max: what do you need?
Me: meet me in the courtyard in 10?
Max: Anything for you ;)

I grabbed my jacket and purse, shoved my hair into a ponytail and slipped on my shoes. Leaving, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. God, I looked rough. Usually, I wouldn't let anyone see me like this but Max was like my brother, he didn't count.

He was sitting on a bench with his hands in his pockets in desperate attempt to stay warm. I could see his white breath in the cold air.

"Hey." I waved as I approached, disturbing him from his thoughts.

"You good?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Needed the fresh air..." I gestured to the trees surrounding us.

"Where do you wanna go?" I didn't mind, anywhere was better than the dorm room.

"I wanna sit." My brain has done a lifetime's amount of work this morning, I needed to rest.

"Cool." Max stood up and lead me to his g-wagon. I expected it to be a wreck but to my surprise, he'd kept it tidy.

"I'm freezing!" I shivered, as I took a seat in the passenger side. Inside the car wasn't much better. I attempted to turn on the heat, but ended up blasting the radio. Ouch. My poor, virgin ears. He turned it down and put the heating up, I wouldn't be surprised if it snowed tonight.

"It'll warm up in a minute. Here." he handed me a red blanket that he took from behind his seat. He started the car, the soft engine soothing me.

"How are you finding it?"

"The blanket? It's nice and soft."

"Yeah, the blanket, you fucking idiot!" He sarcastically replied.

"Fuck off, my brain is frazzled at the moment, the only thing up there right now is how flashbacks create an emotional effect on the reader." I put my face in my hands, feeling physically ill just talking about structural techniques.

"So, how are you finding it?" Max chuckled, obviously finding my mini breakdown hilarious.

"Maximilian, um, it's alright I guess, I mean it's different?"

"No, but really?" He looked at me, a serious look in his eyes. I didn't know where he was going with this.

"Honestly," I sighed, I couldn't keep it in me any longer, "it's hell. I can't stand it, sharing a room with that slag is torture and I have so, much, work! I can't deal with it." It was the first time someone seemed to be genuinely interested in my feelings. I liked it.

"You'll get used to it. It must be hard staying away from your parents"

Shaking my head I muttered,  "I avoided them as much as possible."

"But you must miss them right?" I hadn't really thought about it, now that I did, no not really, it was quite nice to have a break from the ridiculous sly remarks and the pretence of normality.

"I guess." I lied "Do you miss home?" All this attention on me was making me uncomfortable, I stared at Max while he sat there silently, hands in the wheel, thinking of what to say.

"This place," Max looked out of the window, changing gears, "it's been my home for quite a while." He seemed off.

"What about your parents?" I asked.

"My parents they uh..." He turned his head away from me, indicating right and getting ready to turn, I could tell that he was uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I'm asking to many questions"

"No it's fine. They've always thought that if Ruby and I got the best education then we could conquer the world."

"You? Conquer the world" I joked, needing to lighten the mood.

"Right, no, it's hard to explain, they just think they've given us everything we could possibly need. They transfer money into our accounts weekly and send me new laptops and phones and honestly, I couldn't care less." It was like it pained him to say. His hands tightened around both the wheel and the gear stick, his knuckles going white with strain. Part of me felt like he hadn't spoke about this sort of stuff to anyone before. I could tell that he really trusted me, I felt like I could trust him too.

"That sucks." I sympathised, I knew what it was like to be unwanted.

"Right! It totally sucks. I can't remember the last time I spoke to my dad. He's always caught up with his business. You'd think that maybe he could find a second to call- and mums not any better. I don't think I've ever had a proper conversation with her. They should have never have had us. From the moment we could speak we were shipped away to boarding school." He shrugged and shook his head. I felt really bad for him, he didn't deserve this.

"I kind of get it, I mean, I didn't want to come here either. I woke up one morning and out of nowhere I'm sent to the Innes Institution." It makes no sense. I had just assumed my parents wanted me out of their hair to compose the divorce papers and straighten themselves up, but I soon realised that I was here for different reason. Pushing, those thoughts to the back of my head, I knew that I had to be there for Max.

We just sat there for a while, listening to the radio, Silence by Khalid was playing. It was nice that we didn't have to talk and could just be in each other's company. Max pulled into the parking lot of a pizza place, great choice.

Taking in a deep breath "You're the closest friend I have right now," I said, turning to face him, "Thank you Maximilian."

He chuckled, "Anything for you."