The Mafia's Bride (Book 2)

chapter 4

I couldn't believe Rafeal was gone. It was the only thing that was on my mind. I was laying in bed blankly staring at the raindrops as they slid down the glass door. I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't wrap my head around it.

Part of me wanted to be happy, but there was that part of me, that dominant part of me that was sad. Rafeal might have been so many things, but at the end of the day, he was the father of my child and I had once loved him. I couldn't deny that Rafeal had played a massive part in my life, even though he basically ruined and hurt me in every way possible, so I couldn't understand where my sadness came from.

Sad was an understatement, this was a pity party of one. I just couldn't believe it, the man who I wanted to get away from, the man that took away everything from me was dead, yet here I was wallowing in my own sadness.

Another thing that had me down was the fact that I didn't know who I was really. I was definitely not that bubbly girl I once was who had so many dreams. I was not the girl that always had hope and knew everything was going to work out.  And I definitely was not the strong independent girl who knew what she wanted.

In a sense I was lost and that was the worst feeling ever. I felt like a failure, I felt like I failed at everything I did, and Rafeal had crushed my confidence, my dignity, and my pride. When a person constantly chooses someone else over you, even though you've given them everything you could.  What was wrong with me? Why did everyone always hurt me or just leave?

Mom had left me. Rafeal had left me, even Tom left me. Deep down inside, I knew that Tom had to do what was best for his siblings and he basically couldn't travel with my wounded self, but I couldn't help but feel rejected. He could have waited for me to get well, but instead he dumped me in the hands of someone who could potentially be the person who wanted me and my baby dead. I may be exaggerating,  but these days, no one could be trusted and I mean no one.

It had been a week since Klaus had walked out and I had not seen him since. My clothes had arrived just after that day and they had been neatly packed in the walk-in closet. Part of me felt bad for accusing him after everything he had done for me, but the other part felt uneasy. Was I paranoid now?

There was a knock at the door which brought me from my long train of thought.

"Yes?" I answered and the door opened as a young lady called Anastassia walked in. Apparently only two people were ever allowed in my room and that was Anastassia and Alina. I was told that everything I wanted they would get for me even if I wanted to be bathed which was funny. I felt like royalty or just a cow about to be slaughtered, I couldn't help my insecurities and paranoia.

"Hello ma'am, I am here to ask what you would like to have for lunch," Anastassia asked. She was pale, like really pale with black long hair and that grey tunic did nothing to highlight her.

I basically didn't feel like eating anything but I knew that wasn't an option. Last time I tried to deny breakfast, I received a call on my new Iphone Xs which came along with the clothes.

"If you don't eat, I will come up there and feed you your lunch myself," the person on the other end of the line had said just before cutting the line, not even a hello, but I had to say that his voice sounded like Thor with a Russian accent. I had been shocked, stunned and a bit dazed; just a little.

" I will have what Klaus is having," I said simply.

"The boss doesn't eat lunch, he only eats two times a day and sometimes once and I am sure you wouldn't eat what he eats." Anastassia said back causing me to internally swear.

" Okay, I will have a burger and fries." I said back.

"Beef burger, chicken burger, rib burger, soya burger, or lamb burger?" She asked as if she was my waiter at a fancy restaurant.